I should have seen how bad she was the other day, should have stopped things as soon as she’d initiated sex.
I’d known what she was doing, after all. Using sex to distract from the conversation. And though I’d known, I’d gone along with it, not wanting to upset her by forcing her to talk about things she wasn’t ready to.
That was my first mistake.
My second was agreeing to fuck her from behind when I could already feel her detachment. It’s not that I have an issue with that position.Hell,I’m a teenage boy. Head down, ass up is a wet dream come true. But sex with Summer-Raine has never been about just getting each other off. It doesn’t matter how many times we’ve done it, where we’ve done it, how dirty we’ve done it, our connection has always been just as powerful as it was the very first time we were together. But that night, she was so absent I may as well have been fucking a sex doll.
I should have just stopped, pulled her into me and held her for as long as she needed me too.
Instead, I let it go too far.
If I’d have just put an end to it, the night wouldn’t have ended how it did. We wouldn’t have spent the last few days apart, my heart wouldn’t be aching with regret and Summer-Raine wouldn’t currently be doing something dangerously stupid.
She hasn’t been living in the village long enough to know the safest spots for cliff jumping. You have to know the water depth, ocean current and rock formations before even thinking about going. And you should absolutelynevergo on your own.
But Summer-Raine is reckless right now. She wouldn’t have thought about any of that and even if she had, the risk would only have spurred her on.
I have to find her.
I’d never forgive myself if she got hurt.
They’re the thoughts screaming through my mind as I drive my truck to the cliffs nearest Summer-Raine’s house.
I abandon my car and go hunting for her on foot.
Being midsummer, the sun beating down is devastatingly hot. As I walk, the harsh light bounces off every reflective surface, blinding me and making it even harder to stay calm. The heat of the day and the stress of the situation combine until sweat has my clothes sticking to my skin. I tear my shirt over my head and use it to dab at my forehead.
Where the fuck is she?
I try calling her, but it doesn’t even ring before going straight to voicemail.
She’s turned off her phone.
If that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is.
I’m wheezing by the time I make it to a point on the cliffs high enough to allow a clear view of the crags fringing the shoreline. Squinting my eyes, I search as far as my eyes can see.
I can’t see her.
My heart thunders harder, anxiety rising like a tsunami in my gut as the time ticks on. Thoughts of what could be happening to her, of her lying somewhere hurt and alone or gasping for breath as she gets caught in a rough current, riot in my head.
And then I see her.
A few hundred metres away, Summer-Raine toes her shoes off as she stares down at the drop below her. I watch her, her body blurred in a shimmering haze as the light around her diffracts and glimmers as a result of the hot air.
She was there all along. It was simply the light playing tricks on me, obscuring her position and hiding her away.
I’ve never been diving here. I don’t know if it’s safe, don’t know if there are rocks hidden in the water or if it’s even deep enough to cushion her fall from this height.
I can see her readying herself, preparing to throw herself from the cliff’s edge into the ocean waves below.
I don’t wait another second.
I run.
But the closer I get to her, the closer she gets to the cliffside. She hasn’t seen me yet. She doesn’t know I’m here. Doesn’t know that I’ve forgiven her, that I just want to hold her, that nothing matters more to me than loving her hard enough to conquer whatever it is she’s going through right now.
I’m so close, but it’s too late.