Page 57 of The Truth About Love

Another piece of my heart breaks at the mention of Auden, making it harder to breathe than my collapsed lung does.

“No,” I whisper. “Not anymore.”

“What?” Her eyes widen. “Why?”

I turn my eyes to stare at the wall on the opposite side of the room. It hurts too much to look at her in that chair when the image of Auden sitting there crying is still as vivid as if he was really here.

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” I say simply.

“You don’t love him anymore?”

That couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve never loved him more than I do now that we’re over. “I do, but I can’t keep hurting him like this. You should have seen the way he looked at me when he found me on that cliffside, Winter. It was like I’d broken him. I can’t do that to him again.”

“But he loves you,” she says. “After everything you’ve told me about him, I can’t believe he’d just let you go.”

“He doesn’t know yet.”

“What?” She can’t hide the shock in her voice.

“He didn’t let me go, because he doesn’t know we’re over yet.”

“When are you going to tell him?”

“I’m not.”

I finally allow myself to look at her.

Her eyes are wide with disbelief, astonishment and disappointment. “I really don’t think you should do this, Sum.”

“Have to.” She doesn’t get it. “If I don’t, he’ll be stuck dealing with my bullshit forever, because he’d never leave me of his own accord. I’m not right, Winter. I’m not the kind of girl who can make him happy like he should be. I’m broken and selfish and fucked in the head and he deserves so much more than that.”

I can’t bear the look of pity I see on her face.

“Sum?”

“Don’t.” I cut her off. “Please don’t. You don’t have to agree with me, but please don’t try and talk me out of this because you won’t.”

She nods sadly.

“Okay,” she whispers and we fall into silence.

Now that I’m looking at her, it occurs to me that she looks different than the last time I saw her. The sleeves of her varsity sweater are pulled over her hands as she jostles them on her lap, but that’s not what’s got my attention. Her cheeks are flushed, her skin glowing and her stomach, though mostly hidden underneath her loose sweater, swells in a way it didn’t before.

Holy shit.

“Winter?” Her eyes snap to mine, panic filling them as she realises what’s caught my attention. “Win, are you…?”

She sucks in a sharp breath and averts my gaze. For a while, it seems like she’s going to ignore my question, but finally she nods. Just once, almost imperceptibly, but it happens and I see it.

“Oh my God.” My mouth falls open in shock.

“Don’t freak out, Sum.”

“I’m not.” But I kind of am. “How far along are you?”

“Sixteen weeks,” she says it so quietly I almost miss it.

I gasp. That’s nearly four months pregnant. “How long have you known?”

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