Page 58 of The Truth About Love

Her face falls. “A while.”

I feel a twinge of hurt that she didn’t tell me sooner.

As if reading my thoughts, she says, “I didn’t keep it from you on purpose, Sum. I’ve just been so scared, you know? I’m still in college, I’m not even old enough to drink yet and I’m gonna have a baby. I just needed some time to process it and make a decision before I told anyone.”

I can hear the desperation and fear in her voice. I can understand that. Fuck knows how I’d react if I found out I was pregnant, so I’m hardly able to judge her for how she’s chosen to deal with it.

“You’re keeping it then?” I ask.

Her hands fold over her stomach and she strokes it absentmindedly. “Yeah.” She smiles. “Yeah, I am.”

“What about the father? Is he in the picture?”

“Yeah.” She nods. “He’s a good guy, Summer. You’d like him.” She worries her bottom lip between her teeth. “Are you mad at me? Disappointed?”

“Not at all.” I reach a cast-covered hand out to her. “Congratulations, Win, I’m so happy for you. You’re going to be the most amazing Mama.”

“You think so?” she asks, a shy smile on her lips.

“I know so.”

And I do. It might be a shock at first and take her some time to adjust to life with a new-born baby, but I have no doubt that she’d be the most incredible mother.

She squeezes my fingers. “And you’ll be the best Auntie.”

That I’m less sure about, but I’ll try. There’s no way I’d let that little life grow up feeling anything less than loved by me, so I’ll do my damndest to do right by them.

We’re interrupted by the door opening and a nurse coming in to take my vitals. She smiles at Winter before turning sympathetic eyes onto me.

They all look at me like that, like I’m someone who needs pitying, with their sad eyes and tilted heads. I suspect it’s because jumping off a cliff looks suspiciously like a suicide attempt, as well as the scars on my arms that they’d definitely have seen before they were covered up in casts. But there’s nothing worse than people looking at you like an abandoned puppy in a pound.

“Your brother’s outside,” the nurse says, wrapping the strap of the blood pressure monitor around the top of my arm. “Want me to send him in?”

Winter swings her confused gaze to me. “Brother?”

“Auden,” I answer.

“Oh.”

“No.” I look back to the nurse.

“Really?” She gives me a quizzical look, finishing up my vitals and wheeling her trolley back across the room. “He was here most of the morning. Think he only went home to shower. He hasn’t been gone long.”

She means well, I know that. I know that she’s only concerned about my welfare and making sure I’m getting support from my family, especially as the absence of my parents is clear as the damn day, but irritation swells within me.

“I don’t want him in here anymore,” I say quietly, the words burning like acid in my mouth. I can feel the sharpness of Winter’s glare stabbing into my skin, her undisguised disapproval like a blinding light in the room. “Can you please have him removed from my approved visitor’s list?”

My sister gasps behind me.

The nurse’s mouth drops open in surprise. “That’s what you want?” she stutters, disbelief and a hint of judgement colouring her tone.

No, that’s not what I want.

Of course, that’s not what I want.

But I don’t have a choice.

I can’t keep hurting him like this and I know that I will over and over again so long as he stays with me. And I refuse to burden him with my darkness anymore. He already has so much to deal with at home with his Mama.

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