Page 64 of The Truth About Love

If only it would rain.

“You wanna tell me what happened last night?” Dr Harrison asks. “And why you were standing on the wrong side of the barriers on a pedestrian bridge at one in the morning?”

I don’t answer. Don’t turn to look at her either. I just continue staring out at the depressingly glorious summer day, wishing that I never had to look at it again.

It’s like they think I’ve been planning my suicide for a while. But truth be told, there wasn’t a whole lot of thought that went into it. There wasn’t a trigger or something that pushed me over the edge. It’s just that when I found myself on that bridge, looking down at the oncoming traffic below, I realised that the thought of throwing myself over was more comforting than the thought of going back to Winter’s house and living another day.

“What was the outcome you were aiming for, Summer?” She asks, softer this time.

I roll my head in her direction and narrow my eyes. “With respect, doctor, you know exactly what I was aiming for.”

“Very well.” She nods solemnly, then changes the direction of the conversation. “How are you coping pain wise?”

It’s as if her question awakes all the receptors in my body, because pain pours through me in a torrent of pure agony like a damn breaking.

“Not great,” I answer honestly.

She grimaces. “Hmm, you’re on some pain meds already, but I’ll have a look at what I can do to up the dosage.”

I nod my thanks.

“What happens to her now?” my sister asks, her eyes dry but cheeks tear stained.

She answers my sister’s question, but talks directly to me. “The neurologist will be coming to see you in a bit to talk over some of your injuries and discuss a treatment plan, as well as nurses to take your vitals and redress that nasty friction burn on your thigh, so it’ll be somewhat of a circus in here for a little while.”

Her pen scratches across her paper as she notes down some numbers blinking on the monitor behind me.

“But what happens now in terms of why she’s here?” Winter asks hesitantly. “You know, in terms of what she did?”

Dr Harrison pauses and taps her lips several times with the tips of her long fingers, looking over at me with thoughtful eyes. “I’ll be completely transparent here, okay? We’re in a difficult situation. If your notes are correct, this isn’t the first time you’ve attempted something like this. There was a similar incident five years ago in Islamorada, correct?”

Winter nods, but I interject. “That was different,” I whisper. “I didn’t jump, I fell.”

Dr Harrison cuts me a dubious look but continues. “State law allows us to involuntarily commit patients for seventy-two hours if we deem them a risk to themselves or others.” She stops and my heart sinks. “However, you’ll likely be here for a few more days anyway so that we can continue to treat your physical injuries, and I’ll use that time to monitor your mental state and assess whether or not I believe it safe for you to return home. The likelihood, however, is that I’ll only feel comfortable with you going home if you have someone to be with you round the clock.”

“Like a carer?” I gape.

“Not really. Just a friend or family member to keep an eye on you and support your recovery. You’ll need a strong support system over the next several months or so to make sure something like this doesn’t happen again.”

Winter sits up in her chair. “She’s been staying with me recently, but I have two kids, a job and a husband. It’s made it hard to be there for Summer when I should have been. But I’ll see if I can cut back on some shifts or ask to work from home or something, so I can be there with her as much as possible.”

My heart pangs. Winter has so much responsibility already, so many people relying on her, that her beautiful face is already beginning to look weather-beaten despite being only twenty-five.

I can’t be a burden to her anymore. It’s not fair.

Just like it wasn’t fair to Auden all those years ago.

“Don’t say shit like that,” I say, taking my sister’s hand. “There’s nothing more you could have done.”

Dr Harrison smiles gently, looking between Winter and me. “Use the next few days to think it over. You don’t need to make any decisions right now.”

“Thank you,” Winter replies diplomatically, whereas I give the doctor a curt nod and turn to look out the window again.

The door clicks shut and I breathe a sigh of relief.

My reprieve, however, is short-lived. Winter looks at me with wide eyes and a hesitant expression, making dread build in my stomach in anticipation of whatever she’s about to say to me.

“Can I say something without you jumping down my throat?” she asks.

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