“You got any new friends who can come and stay with you for a bit?”

I scoff. “You know I don’t do friends, Winter.”

Tutting, she asks, “What about a boy?”

A loose scrap of paper flutters onto the bedsheets from between the pages of my AP English Lit book. Unfamiliar, barely legible handwriting stares up at me. A quote. A message. A phone number.

“We must love one another or die.” – W H Auden

That’s lesson one.

Message the number for lesson two.

I can’t help myself; a small smile curls my lips.

“Summer? Hello?”

“Sorry, sorry. I was just reading something. What were you saying?”

She sighs. “Boys, Summer. Have you met any boys?”

I hesitate a second too long.

“You have, haven’t you?” Her voice is a high-pitched, disbelieving screech. “You’ve actually met a boy.”

“Jesus, cool your jets. There’s no boy,” I say, and it’s true.

Auden and I have had a grand total of two conversations. Sure, he’s made some pretty promises and made my heart do that weird swoopy thing it does on theme park rides, but I can’t claim that there’s something going on between us when he hasn’t given me any indication that there is. He probably calls every girl the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. Probably hands his number out to anyone with a pair of breasts and vows to remind them of the beauty in the world. I’m nothing special.

And yet, the words leave a sour taste in my mouth. They make me feel like I’m unintentionally lying to my sister.

“But, say someone gave me their number…” I trail off.

“I knew it!” She squeals again and I can hear her slapping her hand excitedly against her thigh. “Is he cute?”

“Like a teenage dream, but that’s not the point.” I sigh. “I’m not gonna message him anyway. He’s probably been dared to talk to me or is bored and wants to string me along as some sick kind of entertainment. I’m happier on my own. I’m just gonna keep my head down until senior year is over and I can finally join you at Florida State.”

Winter releases a long breath down the line. “I know this is gonna sound a bit callous or insensitive cause I know you’re battling things that you don’t like to talk about, but babe, you’ve gotta get your shit together. Not everyone is out to get you, Sum. You can’t keep shutting out the world because you’re scared of letting people in, especially now I’m at college and not with you all the time. It kills me to think of you all alone. So, please, for me, try to make some friends. Text the boy. See what happens. Do it for me, yeah?”

It’s not the first time she’s lectured me on my reclusiveness, but it’s the first time I haven’t immediately shut down because I hadn’t wanted to hear what she’s been saying. It’s the first time I’ve ever considered that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to not be on my own anymore.

So, after Winter has hung up the phone, I’ve done my homework, read most of The Catcher in the Ryeand drawn my nightly line in red across my skin, I do something I never would have imagined I’d do. I follow my sister’s advice.

And I text the boy.

Chapter Three

Auden

Unknown number:I got your death threat. A little concerned I won’t make it through the rest of the lessons alive…

Me:Death threat?

Unknown number:“We must love one another or die.” Bit ominous, no? Sounds like you’re threatening my life.

“What the fuck are you grinning so hard at?” Freddy asks as we pull into the parking lot of our favourite diner, Rosie’s Place, on Saturday morning.

“Nothing.” Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I fight to neutralise my facial expression but my lips remain rooted in a smile.