Page 81 of The Truth About Love

“I didn’t leave you,” I whisper. “I set you free.”

He moves so suddenly that I don’t know what’s happening until my back hits the wall and I’m caged between his arms.

“You set me free?” he growls, low and stormy.

But I can’t speak. Not when he’s standing this close to me, looming down on me with wildfires burning in his eyes. Maybe I should be intimidated, but I’ve never felt anything but safe with him and now is no exception.

“And why would you do that?”

I pull my eyes away, focusing my gaze on a pulled thread on his t-shirt so that I don’t have to see the expression on his face when I speak. “Because I knew that you’d never leave me, so I had to do it for you.”

A hand beside my head clenches into a fist and bangs against the wall, but I don’t even flinch. There’s nothing he could do to scare me.

“Why, Summer-Raine?” he chokes, the sound something close to a sob. I keep my gaze trained on his t-shirt, knowing if I were to look into his eyes right now and see tears that I would break. “Why did anyone have to leave? Why couldn’t we have taken my truck to Sunshine City like we talked about and gone off to college together? No, actually, I don’t even care about Sunshine City and Florida State. We could have gone fucking anywhere, wherever you wanted to go. I’d have followed you to the ends of the Earth. I only ever cared about us being together.”

“Because of the monsters in my head, Auden. I’ve got so much goddamn baggage.”

“What’s that got to do with anything? I’d have looked after you forever if that’s what you needed.”

“Don’t you see?” I look up at him then and when I see the shine in his eyes, my hand lifts of its own accord and cups his stubbled cheek. “That’s exactly why. What kind of life would that have been for you? You deserve so much more than I could ever give you, Auden. You deserve a woman who can make you truly happy.” I pause. “A woman like Cara.”

I don’t know why I say that last bit. Maybe because I need the confirmation that I did the right thing, that breaking both our hearts wasn’t in vain. But maybe part of me just enjoys torturing myself.

For a long moment, we stand and stare at each other, my thumb gently stroking back and forth on his cheek. His eyes close and he lowers his forehead to press against mine.

“God, I’m so angry with you,” he says, but there’s no trace of it left in his voice.

“I know,” I whisper.

And nothing more needs to be said.

He got the answers he wanted and I hope they bring him the closure he needs. Maybe now he can move on properly and give his heart completely to Cara. He can stop calling her babe and start calling her baby, just as long as he doesn’t call her pretty girl.

That one will always belong to me.

Chapter Twenty-One

Auden

I spot Winter’s car parked outside the apartment building when I arrive home after work on Friday morning.

Home.That’s a dangerous word. When had I started thinking of Summer-Raine’s apartment as my home? It’s barely been a month since I moved in and it’s not as if there’s any trace of me in the furnishing or décor of the place. The photos in the frames aren’t of me and they’re not even my sheets on the bed.

No. It’s not my home. That was a Freudian slip.

The sounds of giddy laughter and high-pitched screams reach me as I walk down the dimly-lit corridor and let myself into the apartment.

My lips stretch into an unstoppable grin as I’m greeted by Summer-Raine chasing two tiny humans in dinosaur pyjamas around the coffee table in the living room.

I’m stunned by the sight of her smile. It takes the breath straight from my lungs.My god,I haven’t seen her smile like that for so long. I thought I remembered how magnificent it is, but none of my memories, even the most vivid, do it justice at all.

I’ve missed it so much.

There was once a time that I could make her smile like that, but I can’t anymore. I know because I’ve tried. It’s embarrassing actually, how hard I’ve tried. It’s just that there is just nothing in this world as spectacular as the sight of Summer-Raine’s smile.

Especially the one she’s wearing right now.

It’s such a stark contrast from what I’ve grown used to seeing from her over the past few weeks. Since I’ve been staying here, I’ve only known her to be steeped in sadness. Her depression is so palpable it’s almost tangible, like a thick black fog that follows her everywhere she goes. I’d listened to her cry herself to sleep after our argument the other night and, though I’d longed to go to her, I’d simply sat by her door and waited for the sobbing to stop. So, the sight of her smiling in this way now, so brilliantly and unrestrained, is possibly the very best thing I’ve seen in my entire life.

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