Page 82 of The Truth About Love

I catch Winter observing me from over the rim of a steaming cup of coffee, her eyes narrowed as she watches me watching Summer-Raine. Ignoring the accusatory expression on her face, I close the front door behind me and throw my keys on the console table.

“You’re here early,” I say to Winter, joining her in the kitchen and pouring myself a cup of coffee.

I’m staying at Cara’s tonight, so Winter agreed to bring her sons round for a “family sleepover”.

She shrugs. “The boys were excited and we weren’t doing anything else.” We both look over to where Cooper and Carter have tackled Summer-Raine to the floor and bundled themselves on top of her. “Besides, I figured you’d appreciate getting to spend some extra time with your girlfriend.”

“Oh right.” I nod absentmindedly. “Thanks.”

But my attention is focused wholly on the golden-haired goddess rolling out from under her nephews and pulling them both into her arms at once, tickling them until they can’t breathe.

This is a side of her that I have never seen. Even back in senior year when we were at our happiest. In fact, I didn’t even know she liked children at all. Our plans for the future had never gotten as far as deciding whether or not we’d have kids. I guess I’d always just assumed we would someday, but we’d been more excited about spending the rest of our days wrapped up in one another to think any further than that.

Now, I can’t help but think that had things worked out between us, she’d have been the most incredible mother to our children.

“What are you doing here, Auden?” Winter asks, distracting me enough that I turn to her and find that judgemental look back on her face.

“Staying here?” I say, confused. “To keep an eye on your sister.”

She shakes her head. “No, I mean what are you doing with Summer-Raine? I see the way you look at her, Auden. You might pretend that you’re not still in love with her, but I can see straight through you. You forget that it’s me you’ve been relentlessly calling for the last five years to keep tabs on her.”

My defences rise automatically, but I take a deep breath to calm myself. “I’m not doing anything, Winter. I’m just trying to help her get better and keep her from harming herself again. Just like you asked me to, remember?”

“So you deny that you’re still in love with her?” she probes, eyebrows raised as if daring me to lie.

“That’s not what this is about.” I drain my coffee mug and rinse it out in the sink. “I’m just doing what I can to help Summer-Raine. There’s nothing more to it than that.”

“What does your girlfriend think about you living with your ex?”

“She’s fine with it.”Because she thinks Summer-Raine is my cousin.

Winter scoffs. “She doesn’t know, does she?”

I scowl but don’t respond, staring down at the basin of the kitchen sink.

“Jesus, Auden.” She releases a bewildered laugh. “I thought you were better than that.”

“Yeah?” I turn to her. “Well, what would you have done?”

“I don’t know.” She throws her hands in the air. “Told her the truth? Done the kind thing and broken things off with her the second I realised I was still in love with someone else?”

My lips purse as I shake my head, desperate to defend myself against her attack. But the truth is, she’s not wrong. Everything she’s saying is bang on the money. I haven’t been fair to Cara at all. Not only have I lied to her, but she’s barely crossed my mind since the day I moved into this apartment.

God, what kind of man have I become?

I’m not a liar, I don’t lead women on and I’m certainly not a cheat. So why is it that I seem to lose all sense of my morals when Summer-Raine is involved? Because I may not have physically cheated on Cara, but betrayal can be psychological too. I’ve continued our relationship, called her every other night and listened to her tell me that she loves me, all while obsessing over another woman.

In fact, if I’m being really honest with myself, I’ve been deceitful since even the very beginning of our relationship. How would she feel if she knew that I’d imagined another woman’s face every single time I made love to her? She deserves so much better than what I’ve given her.

Shame overwhelms me and I know what I have to do.

“You’re right,” I tell Winter, hanging my head. “I’ll fix it.”

“Good.”

We fall into a surprisingly comfortable silence given the verbal lashing she’s just given me. But Winter has never been one to filter herself or mince her words and I respect that about her.

“How’s she doing?” she asks, nodding in the direction of her sister who’s lying on her back on the floor with rosy cheeks and a peaceful smile on her face. The two little boys giggle as they both curl up against her to cuddle until they calm down.

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