Page 70 of Can't Get Enough

“We accept,” Nelly pipes up, her expression lit with mischief. “Now you think we can have a lil’ sample of your product before we go? Lil’ toke?”

Dan’s quick shout of laughter bounces off the greenhouse panes. “Of course. Lemme hook you up. Follow me.”

We trail him from the greenhouse and toward the main office. Nelly and Kashawn walk ahead, chatting with Dan, but Hendrix falls behind and into step with me.

“This was so great,” she says. “It will help us make an informed decision. Thank you.”

Her smile blazes bright and her smooth cheeks glow with fresh air and her own natural radiance.

“You look happy right now,” I tell her, taking a chance and slipping my arm through the crook of hers, linking our elbows. “I’d love to see you happy all the time.”

It comes out before I check it, and by the way she watches me from the corner of her eye, I know it sounded too intense from one casualfriend to another. I don’t care, though. I’m not ready to articulate what it means that I enjoy being around Hendrix so much, that I think about her far too often. That in the shower some mornings, I get hard as a silver dollar remembering her scent and softness, and have more than once jerked off to the husky soundtrack of her voice on repeat in my thoughts. I don’t want to articulate the implications of all that even to myself because I already know she won’t give me a shot. If I asked her out, she would turn me down, no ifs or buts. I know she’s aware of me in the same way. I’m not oblivious, but I pose a threat to her goals. And Hendrix doesn’t strike me as the kind of woman to choose a man over her dream. Not when it would cost her something she really wants, and knowing how hurt Zere is over our breakup, being with me would most certainly cost Hendrix that opportunity.

I’d love the chance to explore the promise of what I sense between us, but I doubt I’ll get to, not with the specter of Zere and me on the periphery of my every interaction with Hendrix. Even when we were watchingTop Boyon the plane, there was a tension in the way she held herself. How carefully she made sure our arms didn’t touch on the table or that her leg never brushed against mine. She’s holding herself back from me in every way possible.

I hate it.

I’ve never been more fascinated by any woman than I am by Hendrix. The juxtaposition of power and vulnerability, of brazenness and restraint—it’s got me wide-open. I’m good at keeping my emotions in check, but I don’t want to. I’mnotgood at denying myself something I want.

And I’m finally admitting to myself that I want Hendrix.

Bad.

Getting her would take strategy and careful planning, like everything else I’ve ever pursued and won. I’d have to make what she would gain more appealing than what she would lose. She doesn’t know it, but we’re in the discovery phase now. I’m finding out everything I can about her. What she likes, what she needs, what she hates.

Whenever I go after anything, I always say it’s only a matter of time. That my success is inevitable, but I don’t feel that way with Hendrix. If anything, I recognize that the odds are stacked against me. She’s a woman with a very clear vision of what her future will look like.

No kids.Fine with me. Already got one.

Working to build her fund.Great, I can help her expand it beyond anything she and her partners ever imagined.

Then there’s her career. Zere holds the keys to the next phase, and I know Hendrix won’t risk that to be with me.

Or would she?

“You’re mighty quiet,” she says as we approach Dan’s office. The others have already gone inside. “What are you thinking about?”

All the ways to win you over.

Aloud I say, “That first few episodes ofTop Boywe watched on the plane. I’d forgotten how much I loved the early seasons.”

“Oh, my God!” She turns toward me and a smile lights her face. “I can already tell it’ll be my new addiction.”

I take it as a good sign that she hasn’t wrenched her arm away, so I push my luck by subtly tugging her a little closer until the full curve of her hip bumps up against me. I enjoy her softness, how she swells in extravagant ways. If she notices the contact, she doesn’t give any indication.

“Maybe we can catch a few more episodes on the flight back?” she ventures.

“I’m actually not flying back with you guys,” I tell her, inwardly cursing the plans I’ve already made. “The plane will take you to Atlanta because I know Nelly wanted to get back to her wife and kid. But I agreed to stay and help Dan with some community outreach stuff tomorrow.”

I’m watching her closely, so I catch the disappointment on her face before she masks it.

She does pull her arm away now. “That’s good.”

“Yeah, sometimes when you grow in these small towns, there’s awariness from the community about bringing ‘them drugs into our town.’ Is it safe? Are you gonna make our kids junkies? That sort of thing.”

“And you sweep in, with your Black billionaire self, to ease all their fears and soothe their stereotypes?”

“I don’t know that they know about the billionaire thing. For one, most billionaires aren’t household names or faces.”

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