Page 32 of Vengeful Lies

Cade wasn't there, and Gabriella was terrified for him.

Why had he done it?

Why had he made a deal for both of them?

All he needed to do was get Essie out. He could have left her behind, it would have been better than him giving his life for her.

He had a family, and she had no one.

Only as Gabriella looked around the hospital room, she knew that was only her fear and deep sense of inadequacy talking.

Knowing that her mom couldn’t get clean even though she had a child who was depending on her was the first blow to her self-esteem she’d suffered and that was before she even knew what self-esteem was. Never having a family of her own as she drifted through the foster system was the second. Why wasn't she good enough for someone to adopt? For someone to want to keep her?

It always seemed too easy for foster families to pack up her things and tell her goodbye when she was moved to another home.

Then, losing so many babies one after the other, wanting so desperately to have a child of her own, someone who would love her and never leave her, had torn to shreds anything that was left of her self-esteem. Even her babies didn't want to stay with her,and her husband had dumped her because he didn't love her if she couldn’t give him what he really wanted.

Now Cade had left her, too.

Leaving her alone once again.

Take care of my daughter.

His last words to her echoed through her mind. She wasn't alone. She had Essie curled up in her arms asleep, and the Charleston Holloway family sitting around her hospital room.

They were there and it was her that Cade had asked to look after his child.

Not his siblings.

Now wasn't the time to let her deepest fears and insecurities shove their way to the surface. While she was vulnerable and hurting, they would decimate any last dregs of strength she had left. Just because most people thought she was confident and outgoing, it didn't change the fact that inside she often felt lacking.

Unwanted.

Unlovable.

Unneeded.

Only now she had two people who needed her desperately. The small child who had refused to leave her side when they’d reached the hospital, and the man who had selflessly bought her freedom at the cost of his own.

“I’ll tell you everything I know but I don’t think it’s enough to help,” she said softly, unable to look at the men and women surrounding her bed any longer.

They were watching over her and Essie, but if Essie wasn't there would they be?

She’d like to think they would. That four years of being part of this family meant they would support her even if their little niece hadn't insisted on remaining in her arms, and her father had told her to take care of her.

But she couldn’t help but doubt.

That strength that had sustained her through the last three days had shriveled up and died.

Now she was so afraid to see judgment, anger, or resentment in their faces that she couldn’t even look at Cade’s brothers.

Maybe they thought she should have been stronger or fought harder.

Could she have?

Doubt assuaged her, and she probably would have sat there in silence forever, even after making her offer, if someone hadn't reached out and closed a hand around her shoulder, squeezing just hard enough to get her attention.

“You should rest, sweetheart,” Cooper told her. His grip on her shoulder shifted slightly and he gently kneaded her tight muscles.