Page 66 of Vengeful Lies

Reality was that she was nothing to them now that Cade had fired her. She wasn't part of the family, she wasn't an employee of the family, and trying to be friends with them was too hard, it only reminded her of what she’d missed out on.

Still, there was one thing she needed to know.

“Is Essie okay?” she asked.

“She misses you so much,” Connor told her.

“Doesn’t stop asking for you,” Cooper added, making the ache in her heart grow.

Her little girl needed her, and she wasn't there. She was failing Essie the same way she’d failed her babies when her body couldn’t carry their pregnancy to term.

“Did she go to school?” Gabriella asked. She hadn't gotten around to discussing with Cade what he wanted to do about Essie and school. It was probably safer for the little girl to stay home, but starting school was such a big thing and she hated the thought of the child missing out. Knowing she might have missed Essie’s first day of school hurt more than she would have guessed.

“No, Cade thinks it’s too dangerous. He’s considering sending her off to Delta Team to be with them and Cassandra,” Jax explained, and she nodded. That would probably be for the best, Essie had to be safe, and she and Cade had already discussed that possibility when Connor and Becca returned from Cambodia.

“Does he know you're here?” she asked, resting her head against the chair. “He fired me, I doubt he’d like you going behind his back and telling me things about his daughter.”

“Look, Gabs, Cade knows that he made a mistake but he’s too proud to do anything about it,” Jake told her.

The words washed over her and she was pleased to find that she’d numbed herself enough that they didn't hurt too badly.

Truth was, nothing Cade had said was untrue. She was just the nanny, he was the father, if he felt like she was no longer the right person to care for his child, it was his right to terminate her employment. With him back, the guardianship papers were voided, and she had no claim on Essie, and even if she still had a legal right to his house, she didn't want it.

Money and things were nothing to her, it was people that she craved. A family of her own, people who loved her, people who would never leave her or throw her away when they were bored with her, that’s all she’d ever wanted.

It had been a mistake to think she could have that with Essie and Cade.

“We’ll keep talking to him, keep trying to get him to see sense,” Connor said.

“And in the meantime, we are one hundred percent here for you. If you want to talk, all you have to do is call me and I’ll come,” Susanna promised.

Offering a weak smile because it was a lovely offer from a woman who was still struggling to deal with her own trauma from these same men determined to keep a decades-old secret safe, Gabriella shook her head.

This was too much.

She couldn’t do it.

“Just leave him alone. Essie is his daughter, and he doesn’t want me around her. That’s his prerogative,” she reminded them.

“It’s wrong when she needs you,” Cooper growled.

“Wrong when you need her, too,” Cole added.

“Don’t give up hope just yet,” Jax said.

They were all too nice to get it. Or maybe they were just so used to having a family that they couldn’t understand.

“Look, I appreciate all you're trying to do, but this isn’t what I want. Cade made his choice and I'm accepting it. Please, don’tmake this harder than it has to be, okay? Just put your focus on supporting Essie, she needs you all so much.”

“You need us, too,” Jake said harshly.

“I’m used to being on my own, I’ll be fine, I’ll figure it out like I always do. I have a place to stay, I have security, and when I’m ready I’ll find a therapist, but this is too hard. Seeing you all and knowing I'm not a part of your family anymore is too much. I can't do it. It’s making everything worse. So please, don’t come around again. Don’t call or text. It’s not that I'm not grateful for what you're trying to do its just … I can't do it. It’s just too hard,” her voice wavered on that last word, but she was pleased that she’d managed to get it all out without breaking down in tears.

A clean break was what she needed. She had to figure out a way to move on, and there was zero percent chance she could do that if Cade’s family—however well-intentioned—kept trying to insert themselves in her life.

Chapter

Seventeen

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