Page 64 of Rescuing Nathaniel

When he glanced over, he saw Ava had dropped her face into her hands, and he hated that she was embarrassed by her rambling when he thought it was adorable.

“Hey, it’s okay. I just don’t talk much about myself, not even with my team,” he told her as he pulled into a parking spot across the street from her building.

“Why not?” There was curiosity in her blue eyes when she dropped her hands and looked over at him, but it wasn't the nosy kind like she’d just accused herself of being. It was more than that, deeper, she really seemed to want to get to know him.

Stranger still was that he actually felt an urge to open up.

If she hadn't lost interest in him yet with his unpredictable behavior the last couple of days, maybe she wouldn't when she learned his childhood had been the opposite of hers.

“Because my life was rough,” he said softly as he climbed out of the car and rounded it to open Ava’s door.

Empathy was in her eyes as she unclipped her seatbelt, but not the kind that made him feel two inches tall, just the kind that filled him with warmth because it was clear she cared. He had no idea why, but he liked that she did.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but if you do, I’m a good listener.” Ava held out her hand, an offer that ran much deeper than just the chance to touch her. An offer of support, if he was strong enough to reach out and take it.

In his head, he could hear his father’s drunken voice screaming, his mother’s whimpers, the cries of his siblings, and feel the echo of long-ago beatings. But he didn't want his past to rule his present any longer, and he didn't want to hand over his future to a past he couldn’t change.

So he pushed past the fear and tentatively wrapped his fingers around Ava’s.

The huge smile she aimed his way made it more than worth it.

“My life wasn't pretty,” he said as he led her across the street. “Nothing like yours.”

“I hate that for you. You deserved the world back then and you deserve it now, too.”

Giving her fingers a squeeze, he opened the door and led her inside. “My dad was an alcoholic who couldn’t hold down a job because he was always drunk, so we didn't have much money. I was hungry more than I wasn't, and I didn't own a single item of new clothing until I enlisted.”

Waiting for judgment, when none came, he guided them both into the open elevator.

This wasn't so bad, he could do this.

“My mom worked when she could, but more often than not, she was covered in bruises so she had to call in sick. Do that too many times and you no longer have a job. With twelve kids in the house and hardly any money, things weren't just tough, they were hell.”

“You haveelevensiblings?”

“Had,” he corrected as the lift reached Ava’s floor. “Three are dead now. One committed suicide, and two overdosed.”

“Where do you fit in? Are you one of the oldest, one of the youngest, or in the middle?”

“I'm in the middle. Three boys, three girls, me, three girls, and two more boys. There’s only about a year between each sibling, so for most of my childhood all of us were at home. Once I hit my teens the older ones had mostly moved out.”

“Was it because of your childhood that you decided to become a SEAL?” Ava asked as they reached her apartment and she unlocked the door.

“Yeah, it was. I was lucky, I bulked up quickly as a kid, so by the time I was in my early teens, I’d learned to fight back against my dad and he would back off. My mom … she never stood up for any of us. In fact, I think she was almost glad when our dad took out his rage on us instead of her. But I wasn't like her. I couldn’t stand back and be glad he was punching on someone else, so I’d protect the little kids when I could.”

With the door locked behind them, Nathaniel glanced around Ava’s apartment, reminded of all the reasons why they were so different they could never work as a couple.

Wishing otherwise was simply that. Wishing.

“I was tall, muscled, and good with my fists. Joining the military seemed like the best option for someone like me. I couldn’t pay for college, didn't know what I’d study even if I could, and I didn't want to turn to alcohol like my dad, or drugs like some of my siblings. So it seemed like the only option. The only thing I’d ever be good at,” he added like Ava needed further convincing that he would never be good enough for her.

Because he wouldn't.

She was beauty, light, and strength.

And he was darkness and poverty.

In the end, all he’d do was drag her down to his level and she deserved to soar.

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