Page 63 of Rescuing Nathaniel

“You’re not interested anymore?” Teresa asked.

“It’s not that.I'minterested, I'm just not so sure about Nathaniel.”

“Certainly looked like he was interested from what I saw in the hall,” Chelsea said.

“I know, it felt like he was interested then, too. But other times it’s almost like I've offended him somehow, only I have no idea how.”

“Offended him?” Teresa asked.

“He hasn’t yelled at me or anything, although I guess that’s not quite true. A few times he’s snapped at me. And sometimes he just kind of shuts down. I can't get a read on him. I have no idea what's going through his head. I think he’s dealing with some stuff, but I just don’t know him well enough to know what it might be or how I can best help. I don’t want to get too invested if it’s not going to work out. I like him, but we still don’t know each other that well, and just because I have feelings doesn’t mean he does or that he has to. I’m a big girl, and if he’s not interested, I'd rather he just tell me. Maybe I'm a little vulnerable right now, but it’s not like I'm going to break down because of it.”

“You should ask him about it,” Teresa suggested. One thing she loved about her friend was how direct and to the point Teresa was. She never beat around the bush, but she always approached things with a good heart which tempered a little of her directness.

“I’ve asked what's wrong, but he always says nothing.”

“No, I mean, just ask him about himself,” Teresa clarified. “Things in Mexico were intense, and you were running for your lives, so it’s not like you had time to ask each other a bunch of questions. Then you got back, your parents did their usual obnoxious thing, and you almost got kidnapped again. Why don’t you just learn more about Nathaniel, and then you might know why he’s sending you mixed signals.”

It was such a simple solution and yet one she hadn't thought of. She’d focused on finding out the problem so she could fix it, but maybe Nathaniel didn't need a fixer, maybe he just needed a sympathetic ear to listen.

That she could do.

* * *

March 7th

6:37 P.M.

“I didn't thinkI'd still be so tired.”

Nathaniel glanced over at Ava, sitting in the passenger seat of his car, with her head tipped back against the headrest and her eyes closed. Despite the air of exhaustion, he was mostly used to seeing hanging off her like a cloud, there was also something else in her demeanor, something that had been there ever since she’d had her girl talk with her friends.

Determination.

He was used to seeing it on her, it was what had helped her keep her wits about her and find a way to escape, and it had helped her survive in the Mexican jungle. It was also what she was going to need to continue to move on from her ordeal. But one thing he was beginning to learn about Ava the more time they spent together was that she put a lot of pressure on herself, expecting more from herself than she would for others. Living up to that self-imposed high standard wouldn’t help her recovery.

“Aves, you lost a kidney.” She flinched at his words, but he didn't hold back, this was her reality, and she had to learn to accept it if she wanted to truly move on. Otherwise, she was going to wind up stuck in limbo like he was, thinking you’d dealt with the past when you really hadn't. “You’re fighting off an infection, you were held tied to a bed for weeks. Plus, you’re living with the added stress of knowing it’s not over and you're still in danger, that takes a toll in and of itself. It’s going to take time for you to recover your strength. You have to be a little patient with yourself.”

Turning her head on the headrest so it was angled in his direction, she gave him one of those warm smiles as her eyes half opened. “When did you get to be so smart?”

“Not sure anyone has ever called me smart before.” Not that he was stupid, he’d gotten reasonable grades in school, but he’d always accentuated his physical strength because that was what got his father off his back.

“Well, they should because you are.” Her eyes opened fully and she studied him with open curiosity.

Fighting the urge to squirm, he fixed his gaze back on the road. “What? You're staring.”

“Just wondering what makes you you. There’s lots I know about you, things I've learned in watching you the last couple of weeks, but I want to know more.” There was a shyness to her voice now that soothed a little of the uncomfortable sensations rumbling inside him. “I want to know lots. Know all of it. Where did you grow up? Do you have siblings? If you do, how many do you have? Brothers? Sisters? Are you the oldest? Youngest? In the middle? What were your parents like? Are they still married? Divorced? What were their jobs? What made you decide to become a SEAL? Do you have nieces and nephews? Have you been in a serious relationship before? Do you have kids? Do you want kids in the future? Do you want to get married one day? What do you see yourself doing when you eventually retire? And why am I like this when I'm nervous?” Ava gave an awkward chuckle at the end of her rambled list of questions.

The rambling was so exactly what he’d come to expect from Ava that the fear inside him at answering any one of those questions eased a little more.

It wasn't like he was unaware of the fact that he kept acting like a fool in the presence of this woman. It was like his fears and insecurities came and went in waves. Something would happen and he’d freak out at the reminder that Ava was too good for him. But then he’d realize he had hurt her and he’d been a jerk, and he’d talk himself down, remind himself that she seemed genuinely interested in him.

Only then something else would happen to set him off.

With the threat hanging over her head, it should be easy enough to detach himself, to focus solely on protecting Ava. But it wasn't easy at all. This woman had him all mixed up inside, and as much as it terrified him, it was also exhilarating. She was everything he’d never allowed himself to want because she was everything he thought he could never have

Yet here she was, still talking to him after his hot and cold behavior, interested in getting to know him, and she’d even let him kiss her.

“You, ah, don’t have to answer any of those questions. I was being nosy, and I got a little carried away.”

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