Page 75 of Rescuing Nathaniel

Acted like she didn't know what she wanted or what was best for herself.

No wonder she’d looked at him with a mixture of anger, sadness, and betrayal, because that was exactly how he was feeling himself right about now.

The very thing Nathaniel hated more than anything else was to be judged based on his past. Wasn't that exactly what he’d done to Ava?

Because she’d been raised in a wealthy family didn't make her spoiled. Nor did it make her snobby or entitled. The Ava he’d been getting to know was none of those things. Since spending the last couple of days at her house, he’d found that, yes, she lived in a nice building, yes, she had nice furniture, yes, she had an extensive collection of art, and yes, she owned expensive jewelry. But that was it.

Never once had he seen her dressed in designer clothes. While he was no expert neither her bed sheets nor her towels seemed to be anything different than what he would buy for himself, other than the color. All the gadgets in the kitchen were Teresa’s, not Ava’s, and he hadn't even bothered to ask her about the art, or the bracelet because he’d immediately jumped onto the defensive without any provocation on her part.

She wasn't the one judging him, he’d been the only one judging the entire way along.

Damn.

He owed her one massive apology.

Ava Hendricks was the best thing to ever happen to him. If he hadn't been so busy being defeatist, so determined to paint himself as some poor victim of his past who could never be loved and respected by anyone who hadn't grown up surrounded by the stench of alcohol and blood, he would have seen what was staring him in the face all along.

A woman who was determined, who didn't give up, who fought with everything she had, was loyal and compassionate, and cared about others. A woman who was intelligent and beautiful. A woman who made him laugh with her adorable rambling, and who filled him with warmth from a single smile.

More than that, a woman who seemed to see him.

She saw him and cared about his past only in how it affected him. She would never be the kind of woman who would use it against him, look down her nose at him, or think less of him because he’d grown up in a home filled with violence and alcohol.

So why was he so intent on putting her down instead of getting out of his own way?

Maybe it was time to think about getting himself some therapy.

If he could sabotage his own chance at happiness just to prove a point that nobody else was trying to make other than himself, then it was time to do something about it.

Therapy had always seemed too extreme, not somethingheneeded, although he wouldn't say the same for the rest of his family. But he hadn't turned to drugs, hadn't turned to alcohol, hadn't turned to violence. Sure, he kept relationships to just a physical one, but he’d never been disrespectful to a partner let alone put his hands on them in any way that wasn't supposed to make them feel good.

Now he realized there were other ways of hurting.

Ways that focused more on hurting yourself than hurting others.

It wasn't healthy for him to keep going the way he was. Shutting out everybody who wasn't part of his team and refusing to let them get close. Making excuses about why he shouldn’t be in a relationship instead of doing something to fix himself. Hurting people who had done absolutely nothing wrong because it was easier to do that than confront his demons.

Well, no more.

Ava deserved better.

And Nathaniel found himself wanting to be the kind of man she could be proud of. He’d hurt her with his childish display of immaturity upstairs, and he needed to apologize and find a way to make it up to her. Assuring her he was going to get some help for his issues was a start, but he wanted to talk through exactly what was running through his head.

With a chuckle, he climbed back out of his car.

Look at him. Actually, planning on going to see a shrink, and volunteering to have a conversation about his feelings. So not him. So not any guy he knew. But Ava made him want to be a better man and he knew this was the first step in doing that.

So, with determination, he waited for the traffic to clear so he could cross the street.

He’d seen the Bentley Jones guy come rushing out of the building not long after he’d left, so he knew Ava had sent the man running. And not long after that, her parents had also come out. Her mother had been fuming, he could tell even from over the street inside his car. Like always, her father just appeared bored and had been tapping away on his phone.

Nathaniel was glad she’d put them in their place. Glad she’d done the same thing with him. He’d needed the wake-up call that he was letting his life pass him by without really living it. Now he found himself anxious to get upstairs and talk with Ava. He wanted to clear the air, promise her he’d do better going forward, and then start enjoying his time with her rather than always waiting for the other shoe to drop and things to fall apart.

As he crossed the street, he saw the movers from upstairs come out the door. They had a trolley that was piled high with the blankets they had used to protect the furniture during transport, and from the looks of things, the guy wheeling it was struggling a little.

It was what first caught his attention, but then he noticed something else.

The man had a smear of blood above his top lip. Almost like he’d had a nosebleed.

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