Page 88 of Rescuing Nathaniel

“It’s gone. First thing the doctors did after examining you when we got here.”

“Where was it?”

“Right at the back of your left shoulder. Tiny little cut, too small to be noticeable. Especially since when I first found you there was a much more obvious injury to deal with.”

“So it’s really gone?”

“Really gone.”

“They can't track me with it anymore.”

“No, they can't. Prey took it in to see if it was a potential lead, but it’s no longer a threat to you.”

“And you … you stayed with me the whole time?” There was a vulnerability in her eyes as she asked the question, along with a bit of conflict. Maybe she didn't like that he made her feel safe and she craved his presence given how things had been the last time he saw her before she was abducted.

“I promised you I would stay by your side, and I had no intention of breaking that promise,” he told her firmly.

“You said I was stuck with you for the rest of my life.”

“And you said you kind of liked that.” Thankfully. Because she had every right to never want to see him again.

“How you’ve been treating me, you know that’s not okay, right? I deserve better than that. I get that you have issues, and what you lived through as a child was terrible. Awful. I hate that it happened to you. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to run hot and cold with me, and to punish me for things I never even did. I'm not stuffy and pretentious like my parents. I don’t judge people based on their financial status. And while I make good money working for Prey, I am not rich. Not in the least. Most of what I earn I scrimp on everything else so I can save up and add to my art collection. I sacrifice other things to buy the things that make me happy. And that bracelet you freaked out about was my grandmother’s. There is no way I can afford jewelry worth fifty thousand dollars.”

Dragging his fingers through his hair, he looked down at her, feeling so much regret it was like he was drowning in it. “Chelsea and Teresa told me about the bracelet. I'm so sorry, Ava, I let my insecurities get the best of me.”

“I appreciate the apology, and I even accept it, because I understand that you have childhood trauma you’ve yet to deal with. But that doesn’t make it okay to treat me that way, and I don’t think an apology is enough for me to give us another chance.” She softened her words a little by offering him a small smile, but it still felt like the bottom of his world had dropped out, leaving him plummeting down into a pit of nothingness.

Reaching out again, he picked up her hand, grateful she didn't pull it away. Entwining their fingers he stared at them for a moment before resolutely meeting her gaze once more. “I'm not offering only an apology. While I was sitting in my car outside your building, I realized how badly I messed up, and I didn't want to keep messing up. To keep hurting you. I’d already decided that I needed professional help.”

“You did?”

“Of course. I hurt you.” Somewhat tentatively, he lifted the hand not holding hers and once again palmed her cheek. His fingers caressed her soft skin like he could never get enough of it, and he couldn’t. He wanted to be able to do this for the rest of his life.

But to make that a reality he had to prove to Ava that he’d learned his lesson.

That he was serious about changing.

“I didn't mean to, and I hate that I did. I'm so sorry for allowing your parents’ judgmental attitudes to affect me like that. My biggest fear is not being good enough for you, that my past, my DNA, will somehow rub off on you and wind up hurting you.”

“You're not your dad, Nathaniel. Nor are you your mom. You don’t hurt people, and you don’t stand by and let others get hurt. You're a good man, a brave one, a strong one, a smart one, one that any woman would be lucky to have. One that I would be lucky to have.”

“I want to believe that so badly.”

Turning her face, she nuzzled into his hand and then touched a kiss to the inside of his wrist. “You will. One day you will. But you have to stop seeing me as this unattainable, rich princess. I'm not that woman. I fought hard to get out of my parents’ clutches and become who I wanted to be. I can't change who I am. I won't. Not for anyone. But if you paint this picture of me that’s not true then sooner or later, you're going to wind up being disappointed that I'm not who you think I am.”

“Who you are is perfection, peace, and happiness in a way I didn't know existed.”

Ava blushed, a small smile curling her lips up. “I'm not perfect, Nathaniel.”

“You are to me,” he said simply.

And that was when it clicked. When it finally all sank in.

Nobody was perfect, everybody was dealing with their own issues, some bigger some smaller, but life wasn't a competition, and he didn't need to prove anything to anyone other than himself and this woman.

For Ava he wanted to be a better man, but he wanted to be a better man for himself as well. Instead of hiding from his past and using it as a shield so he didn't have to really live, he wanted to rid himself of those demons, so that he could be perfect to Ava.

“I'm going to work through my issues, Aves, I won't let them hurt you again. It might take me some time, but I’ll get there. I’ll be a man you look at and think he’s perfect for me.”

---