Page 104 of Deeper

Victoria nodded, understanding my sunken mood as she was quick to grab her purse and abandon the last of her drink for me.

Everyone was in the club having a good time and all I wanted to do was not jump to conclusions. I didn’t want to go to the Dymond Dinner under the act of watching Zander so he wouldn’t cheat on me, but now that it was obvious Jolie wasn’t about to play fair, I was lost.

My main reason for going to the dinner was to be a supportive girlfriend, but now it felt like a job had to be done.

I could lie and say it was all in my head, but why else would she have gone childish and posted about her current relationship status? Why else post she was in New York City? People only posted their “single” relationship status when they wanted to get a lover’s attention.

They had history together, a big one. Could our little budding romance compete?

“Calm down,” Victoria insisted as she let us back into the apartment. “I didn’t mean to scare you, but now you see why youhaveto go to the Dymond Dinner. Jolie was just posted up with the next dude, and now all of sudden when Zander’s making headlines with you and dropping new music, she’s single and shouting about it.”

I fidgeted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “Do I call him? Will that make me look like I don’t trust him?”

Victoria frowned. “Doyou trust him, Bia?”

While I stood firm in my being fun, likeable, and good enough in bed to keep Zander satisfied and coming back, it didn’t beat the fact that he’d held a very serious relationship with Jolie. Was our newness enough to keep him interested? Could he be trusted around Jolie alone? Did we have enough depth?

This was exactly the kind of stress I did not need with dating someone as high-profile as Zander. He would be on tour, city after city, country after country. The type of anxiety that could come with worrying about him being faithful on the road was not for me.

My mind wandered back to the day he asked to be more. To the day he promised to be faithful to me if I stayed true. If this were real between us.

Feeling a heavy weight set in on my shoulders, I hung my head. “I’m going to wash my face and get ready for bed. I gotta work in the morning.”

“Bi—”

I held my hand up, not wanting to talk about it any further, for fear I’d do something emotional like break down. My mind was racing and I kept telling myself I was overreacting.

Still, after my shower, I found myself back in bed sifting through Zander’s social media accounts. He didn’t post much, but because Victoria was right, I dropped my last piece of armor and followed Zander on all accounts.

It was when following his Instagram account that I caught his page going live. Here in Los Angeles time, it was just after eleven, making it two in the morning where Zander was.

I clicked on his live, finding him in bed in his hotel room. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his chest was shiny from the protective ointment for his tattoo.

“Wow,” Zander said, leaning close to the screen. “There’re way too many people joining this thing at this hour.”

He sat up in bed and just stared at the screen, reading the influx of comments. He was breathtaking, something mostly all his followers were commenting on.

Zander yawned. “I guess I won’t be here long. I just wanted to check in on my Zandies. I’m sorry I didn’t do Zaturdaylast week, and I probably won’t make tomorrow’s. I’m in New York right now recording. I just got back from the studio actually.” A series of people questioned his recording process and Zander took it as a cue to let them in. “Uh, tonight we finished a track I’m calling ‘Bi 4 U.’ It’s got this sick beat and guitar, and I can’t wait for you to hear it. I’m not sure what the next single will be, but I’m really loving the feedback on ‘Canvas.’ That’s probably one of the records I’ve made I’m most proud of.”

The biggest grin stole my lips as I got teary eyed. He was working, and I was beginning to stress over nothing.

“We also shot the ‘Canvas’ video this week, too. So be on the lookout for that very soon. This album’s going to be amazing. I’m incredibly inspired right now.” Zander went quiet as he was once more reading comments. “I just want to promise you that next year we’re going on tour, and it’ll be the year of Z.” He chuckled at his own corniness before running a hand through those ebony locks of his. “I’ll be back live again soon, but for now, be safe out there. I love you guys, ’bye.”

Not too long after the live ended my cell phone lit up with a FaceTime call.

I sank under my comforter, a smile on my face. “Hello?”

“How are you?” Zander’s tired voice greeted me, sending goose bumps across my skin. The sight of his beautiful sleepy face made me wish we were in bed together, snuggled up.

We were nearly three thousand miles apart, but seeing him on the phone, knowing he missed me too, made the distance feel like nothing. Because I trusted Zander, I let all thoughts of his sneaky ex go as I knew thatIhad his undivided attention and that was all that mattered. “Better now.”

21

DRUNK

The repugnant smell of broccoli greeted me as I came out of my bedroom after getting dressed after my shower Sunday evening. Angles had been busy that night and now I was ready to sit and relax, save for the odor.

Victoria was sitting on the sofa eating from a blue steam bag of broccoli as she binge-watchedDexter. She was in a cute little onesie with strawberries all over its pink material.

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