Page 56 of Deeper

Holliston gave me a bitter smile and gathered her phone. “I follow all the guys of So What on Twitter. I was on the trend page and saw Zander’s name and that’s when you popped up. Thank God no one’s tagged you…yet. Oh wow,” Holliston held her phone up and shook her head, “he’sstilltrending. Apparently, some fans bumped into him at a radio station. He’s about to be live with Kacey and Eddie of Viibe FM.”

I’d just seen Zander, but like an addict, I wanted to hear his voice, to feel better about my sullen mood regarding my very disappointed best friend.

We managed to find the station, Viibe 104.2 FM, and joined in as the station was taking a break from playing music. I recognized notable DJs Kacey Slay and Eddie Heat in the midst of talking.

“So big surprise right now in the studio today,” Kacey was saying.

“Big surprise,” Eddie echoed.

“We were just in here lollygagging when one of our producers popped in to tell us Zander Khalil is out in the lobby. You guys have no idea how fast my heart dropped,” Kacey admitted with a laugh.

“She literally grabbed her bag and pulled out a tube of lip gloss and a mirror—I kid you not. She never cares how she looks every other day, but today, nah, she had to get ready,” Eddie said at her expense.

Helaughed. Zander. I hadn’t known him long but I recognized his laugh instantly. “Well, it feels good to know that I make a difference.You do look lovely by the way.”

Kacey ate up the compliment. “Aww, see, thank you. I only try for the best.”

“There you go.” Eddie groaned. “We’ve got the one and only Zander Khalil on air everybody!”

Someone at the station played an applause track and I could hear Kacey eagerly clapping along with it to welcome Zander in.

“First of all, hello everyone,” Zander said, speaking into the mic. “And thank you guys for having me on such short notice.”

“Listen,” Kacey responded. “I’m a day one So What fan. I was at them concerts, okay? You can ask all my friends and family who my favorite member was, and they will tell you Zander Khalil. I’m the OG Zan Stan.”

“A what?” Zander asked.

I loved how he didn’t always enunciate his Ts. His voice was heavenly.A wha?he’d asked, making them all break into lighthearted laughter. I was happy they were easing him into the process of opening up.

“You call your fans ‘Zandies,’ and I just like to go by ‘Zan Stan.’ You know, because I’m unique,” Kacey explained.

“Kace always gotta be a little extra, don’t pay her no mind,” Eddie teased next.

“It’s cool, I like it,” Zander insisted. “You can be my number-one Zan Stan in my book.”

“Yass!” Kacey hooted into her microphone in victory. Really, I couldn’t blame her. After spending some time with Zander, being his favorite seemed like a coveted position. “Basically, I don’t care what day it is, you’re always welcome in our studio. Especially when I hear from our producers you’ve got some exclusive tea to spill.”

“I don’t know about ‘tea,’?” Zander seemed to joke. “That’s a lot of pressure to deliver something juicy.”

“Definitely something juicy. You’re one of the quiet ones, like, you’re the epitome of the ‘anti-celebrity.’ There’s never really any drama. You drop your music and you go.”

“People think I’ve got this whole mysterious act goin’ when it comes to that,” Zander noted. “And really, I just prefer to keep to myself and my family.”

“Usually you’re good about that, but today you’re literally a trending topic on Twitter, so I’m actually surprised you’re here in person,” Kacey admitted.

Zander hummed, and I could feel his energy shift to guarded. “I’ve been trending for the past week, yeah?”

“I mean, I saw some things. I’m not gonna lie. We heard there was an important announcement you had to share today. Can I ask if it has anything to do with what’s trending?”

There was a pause and dead air hit the soundwaves.

All the playfulness was gone as they treaded on the messiness of the day’s gossip: our being outed.

“For the record, you don’thaveto tell us anything you don’t want to,” Kacey let it be known. “Out of respect, we won’t pry or make you uncomfortable.”

“Hmm.” Zander seemed to hum humorously.

“Yeah, this is a safe space, and we respect your privacy,” Eddie added.

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