Page 57 of Deeper

Another silence befell the radio and I feared Zander was closing up.

But then he cleared his throat. “You know…I don’t usually like talking about my personal life—because it’s my own space and peace, but now is as good a time as any to address something, and then we’ll get into why I’m here.”

“Say what’s on your mind, man,” Eddie encouraged, sounding serious.

“There’s something going around in the media about someone dear to me. One thing about me is that I’m very protective of those close to me.”

“You’re talking about the leaked photos of you and this mystery woman?” Kacey asked to clarify.

“Yes. Usually, I wouldn’t address rumors, but there’s stuff being said that’s rubbed this person the wrong way, and that rubsmethe wrong way. You got some blog takin’ the piss and sayin’ ‘Oh, he’s got himself a badd’e now who’s put him on to Lawry’s or whatever.’?”

His mockery of The CelebriTea’s post made them all laugh and I found myself chuckling with Holliston as well.

“Now you know us melanated people like us a little somethin’-somethin’ with our food outside of just salt and pepper. No shade,” Kacey said into her mic.

Zander chuckled. “Absolutely, but like, it would’ve been fine if they left it there at the corny comment. But they didn’t. There was this gross remark at the end about ‘going Black’ that just really triggered a lot of unnecessary hate. And she had to see that.”

“I hear you,” Kacey responded. “I’ve been caught up looking at the pictures, but I definitely agree with you. There’s no need to put a spotlightthereespecially with how hateful social media can be.”

“That’s where I’m at with it.To broaden my point, it’s no secret I was in a popular boy band, a predominantly White group where I was the only Brown one. I dealt with a lot of vicious attacks from fans and the media, and at the time, I just stomached it. With this woman, I’m not going to sit back and do the same thing, because I know how I felt when the world was targetingme,”Zander said vehemently.

“You know, I’m glad you’re bringing this up, because people need to hear this. There’s definitely an unfortunate history with people of color in predominantly White groups, like you said, being harassed and ridiculed by fans,” Kacey touched next.

“Exactly. Thisisoften a reality for people in my position, and at the time, I bottled it up,”Zander said. There was a pause as his words soaked the air, the heaviness in them bringing light to a major problem in the music world.“But not today. Not for her. I just feel like…” He seemed to take a moment to collect his thoughts. “It’s easier to pick on her because she’s a Black woman, because essentially in the media they’re easier targets.

“No one’s defending them but other Black women most of the time, and that defense goes unheard or taken seriously because obviously they’re in the same group. I’m not going to stand by any media outlets singling this person out and being cute about it. She’s notjusta ‘badd’e,’ she’s a woman, and she’s beautiful.”

“Aww,” Kacey gushed. “I like that. And judging by the pictures floating around she’s very pretty.”

“Yes,” Zander agreed, sending a violent amount of butterflies to my belly. “She is.”

“To take it a step further, would you say you don’t see color?” Kacey prompted.

Zander chuckled.“I’m not going to be pretentious and say that. I acknowledge she’s a Black woman, and she acknowledges I’m an Asian man. I’m not going to center my viewpoint of her on that. I didn’t ‘go Black.’ She’s not tradin’ anything for masala or whatever.” He managed to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.“We’re at different walks in life, obviously there’s somewhat of a class difference, a cultural difference—but I’m willing to learn things about her and where she’s at to meet in the middle.I’m not going to fetishize her, and this is me letting the media know that you aren’t going to do that either.”

“Ooh,” Kacey purred into her mic. “I’m lovin’ this energy!I’m Latina, and I’ve definitely had guys in the past who’ve approached me with a ‘Hey, Mami,’ and it’s just, like, really?”

“Exactly,” Zander responded. “It just makes it weird, to be honest.”

“I definitely feel you, man. Just to add on to what Kacey was saying about these pics, this new girl probably the baddest jawn we’ve seen you with,” Eddie spoke up.

Zander came back to the mic on that one. “See, that’s another thing, I don’t want you to put down my exes to build up this new woman either. I think we just gotta be respectful all around.”

“Ladies, if your man ain’t pullin’ up to a radio station to clarify some thangs in your honor, then be single,” Kacey said, hyping up Zander’s words.

“Sheesh,” Eddie said. “Zander said I’m checking everybody today!”

“We’re good, mate,” Zander said, sounding serious. “But tell me, do you have a lady in your life? … Oh, you do. So, would you want anyone being rude towards her with sly little comments? … No, exactly. Respect me and respect my lady, that’s all I ask.”

“You say you’re not usually this open and vocal, but I gotta say, I’m lovin’ this side of you,” Kacey applauded.

“I prefer to be super private because I am protective of my space, especially after what I’ve gone through in the past. But I’ve learned if something is important to you, then you’re going to guard it and keep it safe, and this person is definitely worth it.”

“Is this your way of also confirming this is your new boo?” Kacey asked.

“I mean, when I’m ready to properly name names and post pictures of my own, we’ll get there. For now, don’t be rude,” Zander said. He took another deep breath, his spirit tangibly rising over the radio. “Now, the reason why I’m here. I just wanted to address last Sunday and my cancelling the other shows. I owe my fan base and the venue the biggest apology. I feel bad about that, I really do.”

“People were saying you were over an hour late, and then just didn’t show up out of nowhere,” Kacey commented. “Like, people were really pissed about it.”

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