Page 67 of Deeper

I nudged him. “Hey,you’rea big name, too.”

He peered up at the sky. “Barely.”

“Zander,” I scolded him, unable to believe he thought so little of himself.

He came back to me, calm, whole, grounded. “I don’t really want ‘fame,’ but like, the admiration of my art, you know? The spotlight and the charts and all that, doesn’t really appeal to me. I just want people to hear my record and feel connected or inspired. I want to be respected as an artist above anything. I do really like Sevyn, and of course Miguel and The Weeknd are amazing. I’ll give those others a listen.”

I was happy he cared about my opinion versus his manager’s. “You know, I was thinking,” I paused, nervous, “I know you’re you, but maybe once a week on a Saturday, orZaturday, you could drop a cover on your YouTube account to get the fans buzzing. You’ve got such a good voice and you love singing; I think they’d appreciate hearing you take on songs you love and that touch you. Plus, it’s humble and down-to-earth.”

Zander didn’t take offense to the suggestion. “What should I cover first?”

I bit my lip. “Prince, ‘Insatiable.’ The shower edition may be my favorite version, but I’m sure you could do it justice out of the water, too.”

His fingers moved across my skin, his thumb swirling in circles. “I want your honest opinion all the way through this, Bianka.”

Truthfully, I’d been thinking about the weekend cover videos all week. I was honestly surprised he wasn’t against it. It seemed once musicians got too big they never did covers.

I was late in becoming a Zandy, but I was very much anticipating Z3. “I’m happy to be your eyes and ears on this.”

He stood, holding his hand out to me. “Let’s go work on tomorrow’s cover then, yeah?”

I took Zander’s outstretched hand and stood, joining his side on the walk back inside the house.

I was terrified at the idea of loving him, I would admit, but wherever the ride took us, I was down for it all.

13

NATURAL

It was Paul’s idea before he even met me.

With Zander’s new single set to debut on Friday, he was in need of cover art for the song’s artwork. Paul suggested I pose for the album art,nude. Since the song was about my body, what better image to use than my naked torso?

It took a bit of convincing on Zander’s part Sunday night before I agreed to accompany him to a photography studio Monday afternoon after I got off work. In the end, it worked out perfectly since I got to drive my Sentra to his house and was in control of my coming and going.

While I was willing to do the shoot free of charge, Zander insisted and pulled strings to where I would be paid a thousand dollars for the time it took to get the right look. He wanted extra shots of me to use for the album booklet to the physical CD of Z3.A process he was completely into and hands-on about.

Zander promised me a closed set, and after I came out of my dressing room in just a silk robe, I found only the photographer, her assistant, the backdrop I’d shoot against, and Zander in the large spacious room. The bright lights were on and waiting for me to take my place in front of the white screen. In my dressing room, I’d put on a minimal amount of makeup and tousled my hair. I was as together as I would ever be.

Anxiety filled my belly as I approached Zander and the photographer. Mentally, I coached myself to go through with it. I was in the best shape of my life—Ilookedgood naked, why not show it off anonymously while I still could? I had an amazing brown complexion. I loved my medium hue, why not embrace and flaunt it? I was young and pretty, why not immortalize this moment forever in a photograph?

Blowing out a breath, I was finally ready to step in front of the camera and disrobe.

“Nervous?” Zander came over to me with the photographer, an older woman who gave me a gentle smile. “This is our photographer for the day, Sam Wilson, and that’s her trusty assistant Natalie. Sam’s one of the best in town. I specifically asked for her because I figured a woman would make you more comfortable.”

I appreciated the effort, because it was a little easier to do this with a woman taking my nude photo than a man. Almost like going to the doctor for a physical checkup.

My eyes cut to Zander as my heart filled with nothing but admiration for him. I could respect him forever after this day. He wanted me paid and comfortable—he in no way was taking advantage of me, making my trust so easy to give up.

“Nice to meet you.” Sam stuck her hand out for us to shake properly in greeting.

I took her calloused hand in mine and shook and offered up a smile. “Nice to meet you, too. I’m Bianka.”

“Looking forward to shooting you today. Zander is in charge of the shoot and he already has a vision for you,” Sam said to me, pulling Zander close and squeezing him.

“Sam’s going to shoot you and someone on our design team back at the office is going to do the Photoshop to finish it off.”

Okay, I wasn’t flawless, but I had to ask, “Photoshop?”

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