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Zander let it go as he stared down at me, appearing serious. “I know it’s early, but I want to be here for you. I don’t mean to be intrusive, but I heard the tone of your voice and it was just instinct to be here. I want all parts of what comes withthis, Bianka. I want to be someone you can count on. Some days it’s sunny, and some days it rains. I promise I’ll be here for you during the storms as long as you’re with me to see the rainbow.”

Poetry this man was, living and breathing poetry. “Okay.”

Because Zander knew it all was a lot for me, he didn’t say anything more as he continued to hold me close.

My heart was in his hands, and while I still had my pride, I allowed myself to be taken care of that night, to be held and cherished. To not be so lonely.

17

FLIGHT OF THE STARS

Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to call off work Tuesday, considering I needed all the shifts and money I could get, but I wasn’t in the mood to face the world. Somehow, I had to get it together enough to go to my father, and I was secretly dreading that.

Zander had laid out someoverlygenerous options for me, and maybe I was a fool to turn him down. Make no mistake, I wasn’t proud about going to live with my father, but I could never be proud of myself if I took Zander’s handout. I was being silly, I guessed, since the eviction was beyond my control, and Zander was only being sincere. It wasn’t like I’d caused any of this recklessly.

It was okay to need help.

And even though it was hard to do, it was okay toaskfor help, too.

I dabbled with these thoughts for about twenty minutes as I lay in bed after waking up and calling off. It was easy to reflect, as I was alone. Zander had been there when I’d fallen asleep, but when I opened my eyes, he was gone.

I knew he was still around, because I could see his shoes on the floor by my dresser and his hoodie was draped across my ottoman.

And then, I suddenly heard him.

“I had some business to take care of … I’m going to make the session tonight, I promise. I won’t keep her waiting…” Whoever Zander was on the phone with must’ve said something he really didn’t like, because he groaned loudly next. “Is it imperative that I go? … I hate these things … You know she runs in Piper’s circle … I know, I’ll figure it out. I’ll see you later, yeah? … All right, ’bye.”

He came back into the bedroom and paused at the sight of me awake. “Morning.”

“Hey.”

The soft smile on Zander’s lips caused any anxiety inside of me to dwindle. “I’m quite disappointed I didn’t get a bonnet last night.”

Devastated or not, I wasn’t about to mess up my hair. Even in all my sadness I’d had the sense to tear myself away from Zander and go into my bathroom and wrap my hair and put on my bonnet. I was sad, but I wasn’t about to be sadandhave shitty hair. I picked a struggle.

The thought of Zander in a bonnet was pure comedy. “We can get you a durag. I’ll even get my nails done to match whatever color you get.”

“Yeah?”

I’d seen some couples do that, but Zander wouldn’t get waves. To tease him, I said, “I’d love you in a durag.”

Zander dared to come closer. “You’dloveme, huh?”

I felt myself shrink and blush. Now wasn’t the time for any of this.

I let Zander freshen up first since I wanted to take my time and drag this out for as long as possible until we were out the door. In the end, I dressed conservatively and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I was playing it clean and safe. Really, I felt like a kid approaching the principal’s office, about to defend myself.

Zander’s hand found mine and it gave me strength as we stepped out of my apartment and made our way out to the parking lot. Zander had driven his Bentley, and once inside, I told him my father’s address, which he typed into his GPS.

With the destination set, Zander took off for Lindenwood. His phone was paired to his car and some rock band was playing. I wasn’t the most educated, but I could tell they were older.

“What is this?” I asked.

Zander looked at me incredulously. “You don’t knowQueen?”

Maybe a song or two, but definitely not enough to know them by ear. “Iknowthis is the wrong soundtrack to listen to on the way to the ’Wood.” I gathered his phone. “What’s your passcode?”

Zander didn’t hesitate to tell me. “Four zeroes.”

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