Page 100 of Deeper

Money. This was about money. “Did Zander put you up to this?”

“Nah, I’m just a business savvy guy,” Paul stated simply. “You came up with Zaturday and his latest video is up to ten million views already. People are eating that shit up like candy. You, my dear, are very important.”

I couldn’t sell clothes forever. And if my ideas could be worth money, why not? After a moment’s thought, I recited my number and Paul typed it into his phone.

“You have my word this is pure business. Terry and Dax told me the story of the slap heard ’round the world, so yeah, you and I are two volatile beings.” He gestured to himself as he stared into my eyes honestly. “I failed anger management twice; trust me, I have no intent on getting caught up with another hothead.”

I snorted. “How did you fail it twice?”

Now Paul took a defensive stance as he held up a finger to illustrate his point. “First of all, that first time was bullshit. I’m at a restaurant with my kid sister and some asshole hits on her, and I’m like ‘hey, she’s fifteen,’ and you won’t believe this fuckface blows it off like it’s nothing. All I can say is somehow my hand winds up broken and this guy’s missing a few molars.” Paul shrugged like it was no big deal. “I don’t know how that happened, but I ended up in anger management and it wasn’t for me.”

Paul was growing on me. “Sometimes people need to be punched.”

“Thank you!” he exclaimed, as if I were the first person to see things his way. “Not thatIhit anyone or anything, but you know, I definitely agree.”

To that we shared a laugh. It was always important not to incriminate yourself.

“Does Zander know about this?” I asked, getting back on track. Being a celebrity, I knew his guard was up with outsiders he let into his circle. The last thing I wanted to do was look like I was weaseling my way in just to use his connections to set myself up.

Paul went and opened the office door. “Of course, I talked to him first. I’m his manager, and it’s my job to make sure he’s solid. No offense, but after the dud that was his last relationship, I’m a little apprehensive. We’ve got an album to finish and a tour we’re planning, so I need his head on straight.

“He actually credited you for his strike of inspiration. He said you called him lazy or something, and it lit a match under his ass. Not to mention there’s no denying ‘Canvas’ is a hit—it’s the number-one song in the fucking country. I could kiss you right now I’m so happy.”

Call me humble, but I wouldn’t take credit for Zander’s success. He was Zander Khalil before he met me. I inspired “Canvas,” but it was Zander who had it in him all along. Victoria had stayed over a while on Tuesday where I had to eat my words and come out and confess how much I lovedExposedandDamage Control. Vocally, stylistically, uniquely, he was Zander, a phenomenon all on his own. His debut album was pure gold and was totally snubbed by the Grammys. It was such a strong, solid body of work from a new artist who emerged on the scene straight out of a teeny bopper boy band.

Zander was going to New York, the opposite side of the country, and though, I would miss him terribly, I only wanted what was best for him. To see him like he deserved. Blogs and magazines liked to joke that he was the flop out of So What, but really, he was far from it. Teddy was the It guy now, but once Zander stepped on stage on his headlining solo tour, he was going to make anxiety his bitch and show the world who they’d been sleeping on.

I got goose bumps at the thought of sold-out arenas just to hear Zander sing.

Back in the entertainment room, I went and stood beside Zander, taking his hand, and beaming up at him with so much joy and hope. He looked down at me, offering me a smile, probably wondering why I was so happy and giddy, but it didn’t matter, I was just proud of him already.

Zander wanted to talk privately so he excused us from the room and led me outside to his backyard. His estate was positioned high up on a hill with a terrific view of the city below him. The sun was setting, and the rose-gold sky above all the lights of the homes, buildings, and attractions below set the tone.

Zander stood beside me, going and taking it all in. “I love coming out here and just looking out at all that. Sometimes, I’d like to think if I had a child, I’d name them Bright. This spot makes me think of so many positive, possible,bright, big things.”

I loved his reasoning behind the unique name. “Bright Khalil—a little different, but I like it.” He was famous, of course he could get away with such a name in the long run.

Zander turned to me, assessing me. “How are things with Victoria? You’re set on moving in with her instead?”

When I’d told him over the phone Wednesday afternoon about my decision to go and live with Tori, he’d been understanding but skeptical given our past drama.

“Yeah, Tori’s not the happiest person in the worldIgot with you, but she loves me too much to let it get in the way of our friendship,” I assured. “I think in the long run it’ll be good for our relationship if I don’t move in with you right now.”

Zander didn’t disagree. “Maybe you’re right. Can I spring for the movers? I think you should get on it right away. It was shady of them to leave you guys racing to find new homes, so why not throw them a bigfuck youby just leaving early?”

The idea of moving soon made me anxious and overwhelmed, but I agreed that it was better to just get it over with than to wait. The notice made mention of waiving rent if we moved sooner than the sixty days.

“If it won’t trouble you, you can pay for my movers,” I said. It was still hard for me to let him be so generous, but I appreciated that he wanted to do nice things for me.

Zander didn’t push and left it at that. “I’m going to New York and I’ve been dragging my feet about telling you because I know you gotta stay and work. I’ll be gone for a week, or maybe two, we’re going to shoot the ‘Canvas’ video and record out there, and maybe hit up a few radio stations to promote the new single since it’s doing so well.”

His schedule was full and busy, no room for me to tag along anyway, it seemed. He would be working just like how I had to work. Zander’s career was a major factor; there was no avoiding what it all entailed.

No matter how much I would’ve liked to go, or how much I’d miss him, I wouldn’t let it show. I didn’t want to get in the way of his finally preparing to step up to the plate. “I’m excited for you.”

Zander came close and caressed my cheek. “I want to be selfish and beg you to come with me, but I respect you too much for that.”

I tried to play it off, to be cool and strong. “It’s only a week, right? Go, enjoy yourself. I want you to miss me.”

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