Page 71 of Deeper

Then Zander smiled at me and I smiled at him. And I wondered if he felt tingles deep inside like I did.

I didn’t voice this curiosity. Instead, I allowed Zander to take me under his arm as he led me out the back exit where Olson was waiting nearby.

After taking me to a nice discreet restaurant and having a quiet dinner together, Zander made good on his word. We went to the movies and saw a rom-com with Anna Kendrick and Ryan Reynolds, and it was awful. Zander joked about itsWhitehumor, and his commentary was the funniest thing about the movie.

What really got me, was the ending, that cliché big gesture at the end. It doesn’t happen in real life. No man shows up in a limo, or catches you at the airport, or at the train station. In real life, men didn’t chase women. They didn’t put in the effort to love you.

Love was nothing more than an illusion. Something that was bought and sold in various forms of entertainment from films, television, books—and right in Zander’s lane: music.

There were times during the film where I found myself staring at Zander, wondering what the hell I was doing, wondering how could such a prestigious eligible bachelor be so caught up in me. Beneath his bad-boy image and sultry persona, Zander Khalil seemed incredibly sweet, soft, and loving.

Sitting there next to him, I couldn’t help but think that maybe, after a lifetime of slight misfortune, I had hit the jackpot on better, on more, and maybe soon to be,love. And if love was indeed real, that maybe, it could be us, it could be ours.

14

CALAMITY

On Wednesday, Paul came to show Zander and me the polished images to choose from for the “Canvas” single cover. Zander had played me the studio version, and he was right—when all the production came together mixed and mastered with his vocals, the song was beautiful. His live version was intimate, just for me, but the studio version would take the world by storm come Friday at midnight.

On the glass coffee table in Zander’s entertainment room, Paul spread out several glossy images. Each one was more surreal and perfect than the first. With the finishing touches, along with some Photoshop magic, I looked stunning, like a real model fit for a magazine spread.

“These came out so good.” I couldn’t believe it as I stared between two photos of myself.

“Youlook good in them,” Paul complimented.

I felt myself blush. “Can you send me copies? Someday when I get a bigger place, I gotta get these blown up really big so I can frame them and put them on my walls. If I ever have kids, I want to be able to look back and remember this moment.”

We were supposed to be choosing the best image for the single, but really, it was so hard to pin it down. I was torn between the image of me lounging in a chair with my back arched and a sheet covering my sex, versus a great black and white shot of my stomach with Zander’s hand running along it. That picture was edited to where his fingertips were leaving behind a trail of golden paint. Besides how taut and fit my stomach looked and Zander’s hand placement, the nice peek of under-boob made the photo really epic. On one hand, the other picture made me feel like a Greek statue, but then looking at the paint dripping from Zander’s fingers, I had to admit, that that was the proper sell for “Canvas.”

“This one.” I held up the photo. “He’s painting me with his touch. The others are just of me—which is nice, but the song is about my body and his touch.”

Zander was impressed with my thinking and Paul couldn’t deny how well the photo worked for the song.

“Done,” he said, gathering the photos and stacking them together neatly. “Now, on to the next piece of business…” He collected his phone and clicked through it before holding it out before him. “Did a little digging and found that South Asian model you wanted. She’s Indian, and her name’s Shakira Malhotra.”

The woman was young and beautiful; she had gorgeous golden-brown skin, long dark hair and her eyes were large and pretty. Paul thumbed through her modeling pictures for us and I had to give credit where it was due; she was sexy in her all her bikini pictures. She had a tattoo of some type of script going down her left side, but even that added to her image. She would look amazing next to Zander.

“Wow,” I let out. “That’s the one.”

While Zander was quick to agree, Paul eyed me skeptically. “How are you okay with this?”

I hadjustmet Zander, and wasn’t even comfortable calling myself his girlfriend yet; it was far too soon to get clingy and territorial. “It’s his job. He’s a sexy guy and he needs to play it up in his music videos. He’s grown now. Am I thrilled to watch him potentially tongue her down, no, but I trust him to just leave it at the set.”

Zander’s hand found my knee and he gently caressed it. “The video’s going to be very tasteful. I want to show all the angles of love, the cute stuff, the hot and the sexy.”

“What’s the plan?” I wondered.

Zander spoke with his hands as he began to explain his vision for the video. “So, basically, you have this guy—me—who’s at his desk in his little studio flat, and he’s trying to draw because he’s an artist. Then you have his girlfriend kinda saunter over in just a T-shirt, being all cute. She distracts him, and then the camera pans over to them in bed rolling around under the sheets, as he’s cherishing her, caressing her.

“And then, we cut to a shot of them in the shower for the sex appeal, and the final shot can conclude of him back at his desk, looking over his shoulder, and the camera slowly pans up the bed, up the white sheets with her leg sticking out, and she’s asleep in bed as he begins to draw.”

Zander’s treatment for the “Canvas” music video sounded cute and romantic. Most of his past music videos were like mini movies, which if I were being honest, didn’t always work for the songs he was singing. Going for a more one-on-one route for his new single would work so much better than a big theatrical piece.

Paul wasn’t satisfied with my answer; he went to Zander next. “Can I just ask ifBiankainspired the record, why not use her or someone in her likeness for the role?”

Zander peered at me, smiling softly before going back to answer Paul’s question. “In the past, some fans complained that too many of my female leads were White, and so with this new album, I definitely want to show more support for women of color. Being that I’m a Brown man, I want my first video to feature a Brown woman. Later on, down the road, we’ll use a Black woman for sure, but I think a lot of people are going to like seeing a woman like Shakira be admired and shown in that sort of light.”

I loved his vision and his ideas behind the video the more and more he spoke. All I could do was look at Zander in awe.

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