Page 78 of Deeper

I gestured to the glass and dirt on the ground. “Didn’t sign up forthis, Paul.”

He pointed at me. “You walk out that door, don’t come back. He’s got enough people doing that to him, leaving when shit gets too real. He’s no fucking Prince Charming, Bianka. He’s a hothead, with real issues and feuds right now.”

“Paul,” Rajaa tried to step in.

Paul didn’t back down as he spread his arms out to emphasize the mess we were in. “Welcome to the end of the honeymoon.”

“Maybe we shouldallcool down. Why don’t you go and check on him?” Terry suggested.

Paul snorted. “I’m not going out there. He snaps at me and I’ll punch him in his goddamn neck.”

I deadpanned. “Really?”

“I don’t condone that shit either, but I’m not walking away from him.”

My feelings for Zander were very new, but I didn’t want to ends things just yet. “I’m not breaking up with him. I just want to give him space, because I’m not about to watch him act like a fool and treat you guys like shit becausehe’smad.”

“Can you go talk to him,” Rajaa asked as he set the table upright. “He’ll probably listen to you before us.”

All four of them faced me, leaving me with the short end of the stick.

Zander was upset, and I got it, Teddy had been an ass. It was because of this I marched down the hall and out the back patio, finding Zander sitting out by the pool on the daybed. He was staring out at the water. His cap lay beside him and his hair was a mess from running his hands through it.

I came to a stop a few feet from him. “I just wanted to see how you were doing before I go.”

Zander looked my way, frowning. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, figured I’d give you some space.”

“I’m fine.”

I angled my head, studying him. He was calmer now. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I don’t like the fact that you yelled at Olson, and proceeded to throw a whole tantrum like a child. So I’m going to go.”

“Bianka.”

I shook my head. “Uh-uh, be mad all you want, but don’t take it out on other people and destroy your own shit, that now Rajaa’s nice enough to clean up for you. I told you, I won’t be your therapist, or your punching bag.”

“I’m sorry,” Zander said softly. “I’m not usually like this, I swear.”

Softening up, I went and stood next to him. “What made you so mad?”

He hung his head. “We’ve already got tension from me leaving So What, and the things we’ve been saying back and forth in interviews, so seeing him in person for the first time in years had me on edge. And then he was sittin’ next to you and I didn’t like it.”

“Zander,” I sighed.

He looked up at me, serious. “I didn’t like it.” He wrung his hands in his lap. “And just as I’m tellin’ myself to let it go, he decides to take the piss and get in my face,touchme, and act like it’s all fine. Then he’s on the radio being cute, mocking me. It’s a good thing they stopped me. I would probably regret hurtin’ him of all people.” Zander ran his hands down his face. “It’s all so fucked up now.”

While I understood where Zander was coming from, he almost put himself in a position to lose. Teddy was the golden boy, and Zander was the fallen. He had to move smarter, more calculated.

“Wanna get Teddy back? Cover one of his songs for Zaturday and kill it. You got the better vocals,” I told him.

Slowly, Zander managed to chuckle. “That’s petty.”

“No, that’s checkmate: a politefuck you.”