Page 139 of The Sweetest Devotion

We didn’t have sex. We went out to his Tahoe and went to the grocery store.

I sat beside him giddy as ever as he drove comfortably with one hand on the wheel. His hip-hop was playing throughout the truck. Jadakiss and Styles P were rapping about “making it.”

I was enjoying the song when Keith lowered the volume.

“Question,” he began as he glanced my way. “Have you ever paid a bill?”

Instantly, I shrank. He wanted to talk about thisnow?

“Why?” I asked.

“I just wanna know, I’m curious,” Keith said.

Still. “You’ll just laugh.”

Keith scrunched his face up. “I’m not gon’ judge you. It’s just us.”

Us.

Such a simple word, yet it left behind a strong sense of yearning. We were only supposed to be strictly physical, but I liked the time we spent togethernothaving sex. I liked the idea ofus.

“The first and only bill I was responsible for is my cell phone bill,” I confessed. My Lexus had been a sweet sixteen present, and by the time I went to college, I’d been gifted a newer model. “My family’s accountant handles their affairs, and mine.”

Keith appeared thoughtful as he kept his gaze on the road ahead. It was a nice March morning, making me think of the fact that spring was quickly approaching. “So, do you have your own bank account?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Have you ever earned your own money?” he went on.

The money I made from my brand deals weren’t much to write home about. They certainly couldn’t keep me up with my lifestyle if my father ever cut me off. “I’ve done some campaigns for makeup and lingerie before.”

“Lingerie?” Keith’s brows shot up as he snuck me a surprised look. I loved the expression on his face. He didn’t seem like the type of person who ever got taken by surprise. Really, I was intrigued whenever something would break that angry scowl of his and he’d light up, even if only a little.

“Nothing too risqué, but I was offered a nice chunk of change for a year’s worth of shots. It made dropping out of school at the time less shameful for me,” I said.

Keith hummed, bobbing his head. “So, you have some money saved up in your account?”

“Yes.”

“And if you wanted to, you could empty it out and buy you a nice little spot somewhere modest and start over?”

He was just asking a few questions, but the ability to breathe suddenly became a challenge as my lungs began to feel as if they were being squeezed.

I could empty out my bank account and take off, and start over when the money ran dry. But why did that feel so overwhelming? So huge of a step?

“You can always come down from that tower and live amongst us common folk,” Keith teased, easing me away from my panic attack. “Just an idea.”

The Tahoe came to a stop as he found a parking space in the parking lot in front of Finnegan’s Supermarket.

I didn’t rush to unbuckle myself as I fought to keep my anxiety at bay. “It’s not so easy.”

His rough hand slid onto my thigh and squeezed gently, sending a jolt of tranquility to my chest. “I know.”

“I’ve always listened to my dad, Keith. He’s always had a say, and looked out for me.” I shook my head as I peered out the window, catching a woman ushering two kids to a van a few spots in front of us. “But this whole marriage thing…it’s the first time I’ve seen him be selfishwith me.”

“Kenny…” Keith paused, completely stopping whatever train of thought he’d had. He patted my thigh and let the idea go. “Let’s just focus on shopping, okay?”

“Okay,” I said softly.

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