Page 17 of The Sweetest Devotion

I didn’t bother turning on any lights as I made it in. Through the darkness, I found my way to the back where my master bedroom was and collapsed as soon as I felt the edge of my bed. I needed this night to be over already.

I took off my cap and dug my phone out of my pocket to charge. My screen flashed a missed text from Savon.

Savon

Bougie af, wasn’t she?

I didn’t even bother responding. He had no idea.

5

My entire bodywas tender and throbbing as I showered at Jadyn’s. Touching every ache brought on a new memory of what happened at the garage. Just thinking about it drove my hand between my thighs to relieve some of the pressure—as if I could do myself any justice afterthat.

I was incredibly sore, standing proved to be just as challenging as walking, yet mentally I was fully charged. I’d never been touched like that, and even if another round would surely break me, I wanted to do it again. Keith hadn’t made love to me. He fucked me—hard, without restraint, and without an apology.

In the aftermath, I felt empty. His sex filled me and overwhelmed me as he took me on a journey I would never forget, bursting my expectations until I was seeing stars. The moment we separated I felt his absence and a blanket of coldness I couldn’t shake.

For the first time in my life, I had been going through a dry spell. At least, I was, untilthat.

Ruined. Just one taste of him and I felt ruined for other men. Or, I definitely thought he was way better than my ex.

Keith was a stranger to me, but he’d left an imprint I felt in every step I took.

In hindsight, I was glad I hadn’t kissed him. I would’ve left that garage without my soul intact, and I was going to cling to it while I still could before I handed it over to my future husband.

Okay, I was probably being extra dramatic about marrying Cain, but I deserved to be.

Had we been arealcouple, then perhaps I would’ve considered my little liaison “adultery,” but because my hand was forced, I didn’t feel guilty at all. A part of me wanted to go and rub it in his face, but then I considered the darkness surrounding Cain’s person and I didn’t want to test him.

It all came crashing back to me, the engagement and the truth of what this was. Mylastnight of freedom where I’d had a one-night stand with a stranger, but come morning, I’d have to face reality and the rest of my life.

I came out of the bathroom after my shower at Jadyn’s place wearing a nightshirt she’d lent me. Typically, we weren’t the same size, due to Jay being five-one and all. Still, the shirt hung heavy on me, as she’d gotten it in two sizes too big for occasions like snuggling up on the couch or in bed.

I gathered my clothing and stuffed them in a plastic grocery bag. Mentally, I penciled in the idea of hitting the drycleaners as soon as possible. I may not have wanted to go to my engagement party, but I did love that dress.

Jadyn was out in the living room when I found her. Her house was small and intimate, the perfect size for her since she was single and childless. The most company Jay kept was the stray cats she often fed. She had a penchant for feeding the felines. Even more, when they became regulars, she’d name them. As of now, I recalled there was a Sylvester, a Greyer, a Midnight, and a Lionel. It was wholesome how she’d get excited about each visit from one of her furry friends and send me a photo of one eating from the paper bowls she’d set out her door.

That was one of the things that made me cling to Jadyn when I met her at UCLA. We’d both attempted to join a sorority and ended up being a sisterhood of two when we realized it wasn’t for us. Right away I’d admired Jadyn’s friendliness and kind heart. In the business world, there weren’t many true friendships, and being the daughter of an elite, I never found any bonds with any of the girls and boys from my schooling.

Jadyn was different. She was from Bedford Heights and kept a glass-half-full persona that made me more grateful for what I had. Outside of her positivity, I loved her for her dreams. As I went and sat on the sofa beside her, I took in the blown-up movie posters from directors John Singleton and Gina Prince-Bythewood.

“It’s always aboutboysin the hood, why not girls? And why not instead of a girl trying to make it out, she’s trying to make it through and just live her ordinary day-to-day life? Girlhood or womanhood is just important a journey to follow than our counterparts,” Jadyn had said to me when I’d asked her major or aspirations freshman year. Needless to say, she quickly became my favorite person and someone I looked up to.

I hadn’t a clue what I wanted to do with my life. Hence my dropping out of school after my sophomore year.

Currently, Jadyn was going the starving artist route as she worked in collections for her day job while penning the perfect screenplay whenever she could get a minute.

I settled in beside her, making sure the large T-shirt covered me as I tucked my legs underneath myself. It had been over half an hour since I’d slept with Keith and still I felt unsteady, sensitive, and branded.

As if the act were a scarlet letter burned onto my chest, Jadyn was staring at me from her end of the couch, her big dark eyes eagerly awaiting my explanation.

“So…” Jadyn said patiently. “What’s got you walking funny? Or should I saywho?”

My cheeks burned as I began to smile. There were no secrets or judgment between us. “Jay.”

She leaned close, a lock of her blonde hair getting in her face. She’d fallen in love with the shade a month after we met and had been faithful to blonde bundles or frontals ever since. “Well?”

Ugh, there was no hiding the truth. Iwaswalking different. “So, I was going to call, but I didn’t want to chance my mom tracking my phone.”

---