Page 106 of The Sweetest Devotion

I could never love Cain. Could never trust him either. Could never feel safe.

My thoughts must’ve radiated on my face, because Cain took a step back and buried his hands in his pockets. “I can live with that.”

Bastard. “You’d rather be feared than loved.”

He shrugged. “One’s more useful anyway.”

What kind of logic was that? “Have you ever loved a woman, Cain?”

He took another step away from me. “Despite it all, I loved my mother.”

That was a given. “You didn’t love those other women you dated?”

He shook his head.

“Did those women before me love you?”

As if this entire line of conversation was boring to him, he picked at a piece of lint on his arm. “They loved what I could do for them. How I fucked them.”

It was clear, beneath the surface, he was longing for companionship. To be close.

“Have…have you ever been loved?” I wondered next.

Cain took a deep breath, his chest rising. “Doubtful.”

“And you thinkIcould love you?”

For a moment, he stared at me, straight into my soul. “No.”

“But then?—”

“At least we could give it an honest effort.”

Against my better judgment, a part of my hate for him dissolved. “Ever consider therapy?”

Cain appeared thoughtful. “Therapy? Isn’t that confidential? Whatever I say would stay between me and the good doctor?”

“Not unless you’re considering harming yourself, or someone else,” I clarified.

Caintsk-tskedwith a shake of his head. “Guess that won’t work.”

My spine stiffened. “So…you’re planning on hurting someone?”

Cain almost smiled. “Running a casino is tough business, Kennedy.”

“I can’t fix you.” It was true. I felt sorry for him, I did, but I wasn’t enough for him. Whatever anguish he felt inside and pain he was running from couldn’t be fixed by forcing my hand in marriage.

“I’m not aiming to be fixed,” Cain stated with a hint of venom in his tone. “I’m not broken or cracked. I am who I am, and that’s it.”

We were getting nowhere. I hung my head and accepted it. “Okay.”

“My turn.” He was closer now, taking my hand and running his thumb across my knuckles. “You just refuse to wear your ring.”

I snatched my hand back. “Why not make it a collar, since that’s how it feels.”

Cain dipped his head by my ear, saying in a low voice, “If I put a collar on you, Wife, you’d love it.”

Gross. I shoved him back. “Never.”

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