Page 4 of The Best of Us

Unfortunately, his hesitation left space for other thoughts to creep in. Ones about the room I’d once been shackled in years ago. PTSD. Fucking A, I hated when it tried to find its way back. And I couldn’t deal with it how I usually did at the moment.

“You all right?” Hudson asked, opting to sidestep my question.

No, but I’ll shake it off and try to be later.“Just need to get outta here.”Get some fresh air.“Areyouokay?”

“Things have been different ever since we found out . . .” He didn’t need to finish that sentence. I was fully aware that things were no longer the same. How could they be?

Izzy and my sister-in-law had been kidnapped and nearly died last fall, and it had been a consequence of our past actions. The result of us taking justice into our own hands. Now, we were all on edge when it came to our decisions, knowing one mistake could lead to those we loved being hurt or killed.

“I know,” was all I managed out.

“Maybe we talk about this later?”

Or never.

“You have a date to get to, and I have a wife waiting for me.” He tipped his head toward the other room. “I’ll handle him. Go.”

I reached for my whiskey and finished it off. “Yeah, okay.”

“Out of curiosity, do you even like this woman you’re dating?”

I set down the tumbler as he hit me with a heavy dose of reality.Where’d that come from?

Given his history with women pre-Izzy, I knew Hudson wouldn’t give me shit for my life choices. He probably wanted me to have what he did now, but it’d more than likely never happen for me.

“It’s supposed to be my job to give advice to everyone. Tables aren’t allowed to be turned.” I was only partially kidding. “But define ‘like.’”

“Do you see a future with her?”

We’d gone on a handful of dates in the last six weeks, all resulting in sex at the end of the evening. A mutually beneficial agreement between two adults. That was all it was. We weren’t exclusive. And did I see a future outside of sex? “No.”

He didn’t have to say more. The look he was shooting me was enough.

Message received. I was wasting this woman’s time. Mine, too, like always.Break it off. No sex tonight that I badly need. Check, motherfucking check.“Roger that,” I said as if he’d been attuned to my thoughts.

Hudson smirked, lightly shaking his head.

“And here I thought it’d be Daniel ruining my plans tonight.”

We exchanged a few more words, and I took off before he could say anything else that might force me to self-reflect. I preferred battling real demons to my own.

Deciding I’d end things with Leah face to face instead of over text, I headed for her place in my Maserati and parked in the garage across the street from her complex.

Me: I just parked. Coming up to get you.

Leah: You’re the only ultra-rich guy I know who prefers to park his own car instead of using a valet.

She didn’t know about my side activities or how often I washed blood from my clothes. She also didn’t know why I’d never hand my keys over to a valet: the 9mm in my glove compartment.

Me: Can we skip going out for drinks and talk?

Leah: I was hoping you’d say that. Already dressed for the occasion.

She sent me a photo of herself wearing only underwear, waiting on her bed. Maybe one more night wouldn’t hurt?

I hesitated.

Had a brief moral debate with myself.

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