Page 44 of The Best of Us

“Oh, Constantine.” She fell with me, wrapping me up in her arms again.

“And when I saw a gun pointed at him tonight, I just . . .”

“I got you, it’s okay.” She cried the tears for me that I refused to let go. “I’m here for you.”

I kept quiet, trying like hell to pull it together. The reality of what happened at the warehouse had finally caught up with me. My son was mixed up with a gang, and he nearly died at the hands of the mafia.

“I’m a father.” Shock wrapped my words up, barely sending them from my mouth. “This has to be my punishment for everything I’ve done. They were kept away from me as a form of retribution.”

“What? No. Absolutely not.”

I sat back on my heels, and she scooched forward, erasing the distance I’d placed, taking hold of my face between her palms.

I wasn’t used to being weak or vulnerable, and now, two days in a row, I found myself on the floor in that exact way.

“You know the things I’ve done in my life,” I reminded her.

“You never hurt anyone innocent. That’s different.”

“Bianca would say judgment wasn’t mine to take.” Those would be her exact words. She’d hate what my brothers and I did to get justice for her.

“Maybe,” she breathed out. “She’d also forgive you.” She leaned in and rested her forehead against mine. “But you are not being punished. I refuse to believe that. And don’t you dare argue with me, you know how stubborn I am.”

I disagreed, but I didn’t have the energy to verbalize it.

“The wallet. Juliette drawn to Bianca’s church yesterday.” I gave her the brief details about that, then went on, “The men we were hunting tonight being connected to Colin, so we’d be there . . .” I let her interpret and make sense of my fragments, curious if she’d draw the same conclusions I had.

Fate. The universe. God? Bianca even. I wasn’t sure how, what, or why it happened this way, but it had. And my son was alive and in my life because of it.

“I don’t know why he wasn’t meant to be in your life before, but God clearly brought your son back to you. He made sure you were exactly where you needed to be to save him. Something told you to change the mission plans tonight so we’d be there for Colin.”

Izzy sat back, releasing her hold of my face, searching my gaze as she put me through the emotional wringer.

She was being there for me the way I’d done my best to be there for her, but I wasn’t used to relying on anyone for help. This was as foreign as it was confusing.

“And you know Bianca’s watching out for us, too. She wants you to have a happily-ever-after.”

I shook my head. “This doesn’t mean his mother and I . . .” I didn’t want to finish that thought. I didn’t want to speak it into existence.

Just because she was my son’s mother, just because I was still attracted to her, just because I wanted to kiss her, just because I drank that bourbon all these years, and Juliette was the one to?—

“Constantine, look at me.”

Her simple words effectively cut off the onslaught ofjust becausestrying to be a goalie, playing defense for my heart not to get my hopes up about a future with Juliette.

“Everything’s going to be okay. You hear me? I promise it will be. And Colin’s going to love you.”

Love me? I’d settle for not hating me.Remembering he was downstairs, I shoved the pain and confusing thoughts to the back corner of my mind. I stood, helping Izzy up, too.

“He looks just like you.” She gave me a lopsided smile, blinking back more tears. “Hudson said he has the same attitude, too.”

I frowned, even though part of me wanted to smile at the observations. “I have no clue how to handle a replica of myself.”

“Well, now you know how we feel dealing with you,” she said with a cry-laugh, managing to lighten the mood. “But, um, what was he doing with Jamie upstairs anyway?”

Back to worrying again, thanks. Maybe being a parent meant that never went away, even with the strongest of minds like I’d thought I had. “He’s dating Jamie’s sister. Maybe working for him, too?”

“Ohh.”

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