Page 63 of The Best of Us

“I’ll try.” Best I could promise.

“Good,” he repeated, remaining a fixed block of steely resolve before me.

I angled my head, curious if he planned to move so I could do what he’d asked. When he didn’t budge, I parked my hands on his chest, preparing to give him a little nudge. His heart was beating hard and fast.

“Juliette.” I’d never heard my name said as both a warning and a plea before.

“Yes?” I whispered.

The muscles in his arms went taut, as if restraining himself from touching me instead of the marble off to my sides. “I’m sure Colin’s hoping you and I will wind up together.”

Oh.I swallowed. “I’m sure he’s thought about it.”And I have a hundred times since you came back into my life.Points for keeping that truth to myself.

“The last thing I want to do is disappoint him all over again.”

His words shouldn’t have gutted me or resurrected the wall I’d forgotten to keep up between us, but they did. I had two hearts to protect, not just my own.

“I understand what you’re saying.” The only power I held over him was about our son, but it wouldn’t go beyond that.No us.Message received. Whatever was left of my hope that there’d be more between us disintegrated.

He pushed off the counter and righted his posture. “You understand what, exactly?” He angled his head, intense eyes pointed at me.

I faked a smile. “That we can’t be together just to make Colin happy.”

“We can’t?” he repeated, brows slanting as if displeased or confused by what I’d said. I’d swear I heard a question mark in his tone, too.

I played with the hem of my shirt, deciding eye contact was a bad idea. “I’d never want you to feel obligated to be with me because you’re his father. You can be in his life without being in mine.” I did my best to keep my voice steady when I added, “I think it’s safe to say we’re both still attracted to each other, and sure, we shared a moment or two just now . . . but that shouldn’t be confused with more. The last thing I want is for Colin to get hurt. You’re right.”

He backed up as if I’d poured burning hot water on him. Yeah, well, I hurt myself with those words, too. Because the mainwhat-ifI’d spent seventeen years thinking about was,What if he found us one day and wanted us both and we all lived as a family happily ever after?

He dragged his palm down his face before giving me his profile.

Why’d it feel like I offended him? Wasn’t this his idea? Not to give Colin the wrong idea about us?

“We’re both overwhelmed by everything that’s happened and what we talked about, and it’s only natural to get mixed up.” I was making this so much worse.Someone stop me.“We can’t be together because of some type of?—”

“If you say obligation one more time, so help me,” he cut me off, but at least he was finally communicating again. “Is that howyoufeel?” He scrutinized me. “Are you worried you need to be with me because ofthat?”

He really hated that word. “Listen.” I lifted my arm, palm open. “Colin has you in his life now, and you have him in yours. That’s all that matters.” I backpedaled the heck out of answering him, too embarrassed to admit I’d spent seventeen years wanting a lifetime of forever with a man I’d only known for three hours.

“Sure,” he said in a low, dark voice before turning his back and doing what I’d promised him I wouldn’t, walking away from me.

Chapter18

Constantine

I’d been worriedshe’d run and take our son after learning I’d committed murder—well,murders—yet there I was, the one retreating.

I shut myself inside my bedroom, grabbed my phone, and then went into the bathroom for another layer of protection from the woman confusing the hell out of me. I’d never felt this way before or been vulnerable, as she’d correctly called it.What was she doing to me?

Curling my hand around my phone, I set my back to the wall by the shower and slid to the floor, mentally preparing to call Hudson.

Unhinged opening lines rolled around in my head. From a,Hey, it’s me, I’m worried Juliette will break my heart, and I never really recovered from the first time she didn’t call.To a,I told her I killed people but didn’t work up the nerve to tell her just how many lives I’ve actually taken and why.

I held up my phone, preparing myself for option three, none of the above, when Izzy called instead.

After our conversation in the office earlier, maybe it was her I needed to talk to anyway. It wasn’t like she wouldn’t relay our conversation to her husband after we spoke.

I finally answered, settling on a basic, “Hi,” to start out with.

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