Page 76 of The Best of Us

She quietly stared at me, allowing another tear to fall before gifting me with her voice and her answers. “Horrible morning sickness and reflux. I blame that on his full head of hair.” She sighed, her lip quivering.

I was tempted to track the line of her mouth to help steal away the tremble. Attempt to take away any pain she was feeling along with it, too.

“Colin loved to elbow me in the ribs.” She added with a soft chuckle, “My brother liked to point out I was growing a pair inside me. He has a weird sense of humor.”

She went on to share more, barely taking a breath as she began scrolling through photos of her while pregnant. I had a feeling it helped her to focus on the screen instead of on me.

“You were beautiful then and even more beautiful now.”

“I am?” she asked in a soft voice.

I said that out loud?“Of course you are.”

“And yet, you forgot what I looked like,” she said like a tease, then rested her free hand on mine. “Kidding. Don’t worry, it was forever ago. Time messed with the image I had of you in my head, too. And I even had our son to remind me of you daily.” She tucked the corner of her lip between her teeth.

“It used to destroy me to think about you,” I said instead of addressing her comment. “Remembering your smile. And that laugh of yours, God help me, that laugh.”

“Destroy you?” she asked in surprise.

“Knowing I’d likely never see you or it again.” I closed my eyes as I worked to control myself before I begged her to show me her smile now. “And how you looked at me when I was inside you. Like we were?—”

“One?” she breathed out, finishing my thought, and I opened my eyes, nodding.

I had to be confusing the hell out of her.Makes two of us.

“But you drink Legacy Ridge. Why? Wouldn’t it remind you of?—”

“It did,” was all I gave her.

I needed to stop now before I told her too much, too fast. I didn’t want to scare her away.

I pointed to her phone, hoping I wouldn’t have to beg for a subject change. “So, uh, how was delivery?”

She slanted her focus to the screen, and my shoulders fell in relief, grateful she was letting me off the hook.

“Well.” She swiped to a photo of her in a hospital gown. “A few things went wrong, and they had to do an emergency C-section.” She pulled her hand away and traced her finger along her bikini line. “Everything clearly worked out fine.”

I lifted my hand to clasp her free one, locking our fingers together. “I should’ve been there with you.” I hated myself all over again.

“Not your fault.” She shook her head, mouth drawing tight. “Let’s focus on the good stuff, okay? You’re here, and that’s all that matters.”

That reminded me of what Izzy had said over the phone, so I gave in and nodded for her to continue, but I wasn’t in a hurry to let go of her. Thankfully, she was adept at holding her phone while also swiping with the same hand.

She picked up where we left off, which was the day our son was born—a commercial holiday I’d never given two fucks about before but did now.

“He was my valentine,” she said with a smile, looking at our son on screen, swaddled and in her arms in the hospital bed.

It took everything in me not to succumb to my emotions with every passing memory she shared. I hung on to her every word. Each story she shared unfolded in 4D in my head. I could almost reach out and touch the past, see Colin for myself, and hold him in my arms as if I were there, too.

“And that’s Easton with him here,” she said, stopping on a photo of a man in an Air Force uniform. “My mom married his dad when I was fourteen. We’ve been close ever since.”

“Have you told him about me?” I finally released her hand, needing to stand. Needing a breath before I snapped in half from trying to keep my shit together. “He’s the one you said tried to help you find me, right?”

She set the phone on the table and went for her latte. It had to be cold by now, but she drank it anyway. “Yeah, he was. And I want him to be the first to learn what happened. I’m planning to tell him later today.”

“I need to tell my family.” I just had no idea how to lay it on them. My mother would be wrecked knowing she missed out on her first grandchild’s life.

“Are they all here in New York?”

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