Page 81 of The Best of Us

“And he’s already proven he’ll protect you.”

“Yeah, he told me you know he morphed into a total badass at the rave when he thought I was in danger. Dropped a body or two.”

Or two?“Mind telling me why he had to, um”—I shook my head—“drop bodies in the first place?”

“You suuuure you wanna know?” He side-eyed me, and I hesitantly nodded. “My girlfriend’s brother isn’t the greatest guy. In a gang. Not like the kind you see in movies, or even gang members you’ve probably helped at the hospital.” He met my eyes in the reflection. “More business-y, if that makes sense.”

It didn’t, and I wasn’t sure if he was defending his girlfriend’s brother’s actions with that comparison, so I kept quiet and let him explain.

“I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I guess I was lucky Constantine was there. Well, according to him, at least, things would have gone much differently if he hadn’t shown up. But I guess we’ll never know.”

“Thank God for that.”Like, really. Thank you, God.

“I’m done with all that stuff, though, okay?” He twisted around to face me, and I hooked my arm with his. “I promise.”

“And what about her?”

His jaw strained in defense mode. “I can’t lose her. Please don’t ask me to do the impossible and leave her.”

I let go of his arm and went over to his bed, needing to sit again. I felt a little better after our conversation and truly wanted to believe he was “done with all that”—especially now that his father was in his life to help out—but . . .

Damn thatbutstill bouncing around in my head. Such an inconvenient and obnoxious worry word causing overthinking and sometimes bad decisions.

“Mom?” He stood before me, forcing me to look up at him.

“Yeah?”

“Why do I want to be mad at him?”

Oh. Um.I sat taller, gripping my thighs as I tried to summon an appropriate answer.

“It’s not like he knew I existed. It’s not like he knew I was his son in the hallway that night all those years ago and just walked away from me.” He screwed his face up tight. “But I’m still pissed he didn’t know and angry that we missed out on having each other in our lives.”

Myeverythinghurt for him and Constantine.This,right here, was why I knew I’d have to forgive, but not forget, his lies and sneaking around even faster than I usually did when he’d been in trouble. He was experiencing something that would change the course of his life, so I needed to focus on what was in front of us and not the problems of yesterday.

“I think it’s human nature to feel that way,” I finally responded. “To want someone to blame for your pain.” I thought back to what Constantine had told me before coming up here. “It’s not his fault, but Constantine still feels like it is. He’s so sorry for missing out on your life. More than I think he knows how to express. And I’m sorry I ever put you in this position.”

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t exist if you didn’t.” He smirked, and that smile gave me life again.

“Fair point.” I stood, and he closed his eyes when I reached for his cheek. “What is it?”

“What if, after he gets to know me, he decides he doesn’t want me? What if he decides I’m too difficult, and?—”

“Not possible.” I wasn’t about to let him finish that train of thought. “He’s already ready to lie on a grenade for you.” I believed that wholeheartedly. “I think he loves you even though he doesn’t know you. Just like I loved you the second the doctor put you in my arms when you were born.”

“I hope so.” He opened his eyes, mouth drawing tight as he shifted his jaw to the side, and I could tell he was on the verge of crying. “Because I think I already love him.”

Chapter24

Juliette

After spendinga little more time with Colin, I went downstairs when he asked if he could call his childhood best friend back in Kentucky. A little privacy would be good for him. I could only imagine how that conversation would go, and I still had quite a few to have myself.

Constantine wasn’t in the living room or kitchen, which didn’t surprise me. I had a feeling he’d taken that minute he needed alone elsewhere.

Remembering leaving my phone and coffee in the living room, I went to get both. I shoved my phone in my back pocket and returned the now-cold latte to the kitchen.

Noticing the cup had a chip, I hand-washed it so it didn’t get further damaged, giving myself time to work up the nerve to find Constantine, hoping he was ready to see me.

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