Page 433 of From Rakes to Riches

What was wrong with him? He had every night from now on to be alone with Victoria—hell, he could take her during the day if he wanted. And the moment he’d seen her, he’d wanted to.

As if he didn’t have any control.

He was already making a spectacle of himself.

That afternoon,when Victoria arrived home and went to her bedroom to prepare for the evening, she noticed that the household journal was lying on her desk, not where she’d left it. She opened it and found that David had penned the words,Until tonight.

She closed her eyes as memories of their mutual desire awoke within her. How could she honestly worry about their marriage if they shared this?

She was still staring at the notebook when her mother knocked and peered around the door.

“Victoria?”

“Come in, Mama.”

Her mother seemed strangely restless, moving about the room, distractedly touching furniture and rearranging pillows. Victoria watched her silently, waiting. When her mother stared out the window, Victoria knew she was seeing none of it.

“Mama? Is something wrong?”

Her mother sighed. “Anna mentioned that she…saw you arrive home last night.”

Victoria felt a blush coming on. She understood her mother’s implication.

“And I was in the library this morning,” Mama continued, “and overheard you and your husband.”

Even as Victoria told herself that this was nothing, she stiffened. “Yes?”

Her mother turned from the window and stared at her with plaintive eyes. “Oh, Victoria, do not be offended. You’ll soonhave children, and understand that we mothers only want what is best for them.”

“You do?” She heard the cruel sarcasm in her own voice, and she was horrified.

Her mother flinched as if she’d been slapped.

“Oh, Mama, please, I’m sorry. I meant?—”

“No—no, Victoria, you owe me no apology. I have tried to do my best, but I have not always been a good mother. I knew your happiness lay with marriage, and I pushed you toward it.”

“You shouldn’t have pushed so hard,” Victoria said quietly.

“Perhaps. But now you have a marriage worth fighting for.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

Her mother hung her head. “I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”

Victoria held her breath, waiting.

“I thought your father and I were happy at the beginning. I let his silences go, believing that he would turn to me when he needed me.” She sighed. “And all that did was gradually make him think he didn’t need to tell me everything.”

“Just like you didn’t tell my sisters and me.” Victoria was shocked at her own words, but wouldn’t take them back, not anymore. Had she always had this anger locked away inside her?

Mama sank onto the edge of the bed and huddled there. “I didn’t know at first that your father’s finances were going badly. We’d spent so much of our marriage avoiding conflict that I was used to avoiding…everything unpleasant. And then when it became difficult to pay the staff, he couldn’t hide our desperate situation from me any longer.”

“But you kept hiding it from us.” Victoria’s throat choked with emotion. “We trusted you!”

Mama buried her face in her hands, shaking, and Victoria just continued to watch until her mother re-established her control.

“I wanted to protect you,” her mother whispered. “That’s all I ever wanted. Until the end, I thought I could help you girls find husbands, save you before you had to bear this terrible knowledge of our disgrace. Why do you think I have been so lost? I failed you!”

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