Page 166 of Renard's Deliverance

“I thought you were dead, baby. And I knew that if you were, I was dead too.”

“No, no.” Tears dripped down her poor, swollen face.

“Give it to me, baby. Give it all to me. Tell me what happened to you and I’m not talking about Barney. I know you think that the worst is gonna happen. That you’ll open up and lay everything on me and I’ll fall down, I’ll collapse under the pressure. But I’m made of tougher stuff than that. You can trust me.”

She shook her head, a sob breaking free.

“I can see you’ve got a lot of emotion trapped inside of you. It’s not healthy. I’m your person, Gem. Tell me.”

“You don’t want all of me!” she cried.

He kept his relief hidden, but he did let out a small sigh. Thank fuck she was opening up. That poison had to come out.

“I do.”

“You don’t!”

“Gem, you can argue with me until we’re both blue in the face, but I fucking want it all. And you know I am not a man who lies.”

She heaved for breath. Once. Twice.

“How can you want it when it will contaminate you?” she cried.

His head reared back as though she had slapped him.

“Contaminate me?” he said hoarsely.

“Yes, contaminate you!Iwill contaminate you. Because what is inside me . . . it’s ugly and it’s dirty and it’s horrible and I do not want it touching you.”

35

Renard shook his head.

He’d sensed that she’d been hiding shit behind the façade she presented to the world.

But he’d had no idea it was this bad.

And that was killing him.

“Gem,” he whispered.

“You were right to stop calling me Gem and baby. I’m not worthy of those names. I’m not a Gem. And I’m no baby. I’m Opal. Dirty and wrong.”

“Fuck that,” he said, trying to keep himself calm.

He had to tread carefully. As her man, it was up to him to take down her barrier and then become it. To protect her soft center like his life depended on it.

And unlike the rest of his life, which he’d fucked up spectacularly, he was not going to mess up.

“That is not what you are doing, that is not what you are. That is him talking. That is his bullshit coming out of your mouth.”

“Not just him, darlin’. My whole life I’ve been treated like dirt because, obviously, everyone else could see what you can’t. I am dirt.”

“That’s complete and utter bullshit and I don’t want to hear it again. Come here.” He crooked a finger at her. He couldn’t back down now or those defenses would go up even stronger than before.

“I don’t want you to have it.”

“Not your choice to make, Gem. And you are a gem. And it’s got nothing to do with your name. In case you thought that. Not why I call you Gem. I call you that because you’re a shiny, bright light. Something precious and irreplaceable and one of a fucking kind.”

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