Page 197 of Renard's Deliverance

When she leaned back, he sat up and grasped hold of her shoulders. His touch was gentle, but there was a hint of anger in his voice.

“What was that, Gem?”

“I, um . . .” She tried to catch her breath.

“Don’t you ever pull that shit again, Gem.”

“What shit?”

“Forcing yourself to do something with me that you clearly don’t want to do.”

Oh. Shit.

Had she ruined it all?

“I want to, though. You don’t know how much I want to.” She wouldn’t have done it if she hadn’t.

“That wasn’t the impression I just got. I called out to you, but you couldn’t hear me. You were lost in your head which isn’t always a good place to be. Tell me what’s going on.” His voice grew gentler. “Was it an old memory?”

She glanced away from him. “I . . . shit. I’m so sorry. I just ruined the moment.”

He arranged her on his lap so she was straddling his hips, facing him. “Didn’t want to have to hurt you to get your attention. But you were fully gone and I didn’t know what else to do. Now that I’ve got it, I need you to tell me what’s going on.”

“Every man I’ve been with liked what I could do with my mouth.”

“Right.”

“They rarely returned the favor. A lot of the time, I was lucky if they made me come. Although, in Stefan’s case, after he started hitting me, I didn’t want to come. I just wanted it over and done with. I just wanted him to come and then leave me alone. So I’d suck him off and I’d go to somewhere else in my head. I’d zone out and that just seemed to happen automatically. I didn’t want it too. Really. Sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, look at me, Gem.” He cupped her face between his hands. “You don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Hear me?”

“Yes. But I do. I want to taste you. I want to please you. Make you happy.”

“Me being happy has got nothing to do with getting my dick sucked and everything to do with you being happy. Can’t be happy if you’re a robot sucking on my dick, living in your head, stuck in a nightmare. Got me?”

“I got you. But . . . do you think I could try again?”

He eyed her. “You can lick it. That’s it.”

“That’s it?” she repeated.

“Yep. And you listen to me when I talk to you.”

“Yes, Renard.”

“Good girl.” He lay back and she slid down between his open legs to lick his cock.

“Stop,” he ordered.

She froze.

“Whose dick are you licking?”

“Yours.”

“Whose is it?”

“Renard’s,” she whispered.

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