Page 114 of Feral Werewolves

“It was only two nights ago,” he said.

“If you don’t want it, I’ll stop,” I said, even though—selfishly, maybe horribly—I didn’t want to. I hoped he wouldn’t tell me to stop, even though I knew that I would never cross that line with him. If he said no, I would stop.

“I don’t want it if you don’t want it,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh.

“I want it,” I said.

His cock jerked in my hand, but he was still only half-hard.

“I want…” I felt shy. All of this, with them, the entire time, it hadseemedas if it was about them using me for their pleasure, as if I’d been robbed of all my choices and all my agency to belong to them. But then, I’d actually been robbed of my choices and actually been violated, and I realized that the reason I liked being a tithe was because it gave mefreedom. I was forced to have pleasure, forced to have orgasms, forced to go out into the wilderness and surrender to the decadence of three men who were devoted only tome. Being a tithe had stripped me of agency, but it had given me the freedom to prioritize myself. I let go of his cock and flopped down over him, catching myself on my hands. We were nose-to-nose. My voice went breathy. “I want to take what I want, Paladin. I want to give in to my desire and surrender to it. And I want you to give me that. I want you to let me take what I want.”

He sucked in a breath and his eyes went half-lidded in desire. “Fuck, Clementine, I amyours. Do what you want with me.”

When I touched him again, he was like a rock. He made a little noise in the back of his throat as I explored his erection, moving his hips against my touch. When I looked at his face, he had thrown back his head and his eyes were closed.

I toyed with him, watching him shudder and sigh, and I liked that. “Open your eyes,” I murmured. “I want you to watch me take off my clothes.”

He grinned, opening them immediately.

I tugged off my shirt, and his grin widened.

I took off my bra and dangled it over his face and dropped it on him.

He pulled it off, his grin going lazy. “Am I allowed to touch you?”

I thought about it. “No.”

He liked that. He cradled his head with his hands and wriggled his hard cock at me while I removed the rest of my clothes. I left him mostly dressed, just his erection sticking out of his unzipped pants, and I slid my wet opening down on top of him.

The moment he filled me up, I came.

We both made a desperate little noise.

He tried to sit up, but I put a hand on his chest—a gentle hand, he could have stopped it if he wanted—and I rode the hard, thickness of him until I came again.

And then I bent down to capture his lips, and he wrapped his arms around me, and then everything changed. Then we were together, almost merged, his body buried inside mine, a joining that slipped into us and filled in all the cracks of us, making us into something else, something that was the sum of both of us, something luminous.

I cried out against the smooth skin of his neck as I felt the tremors of his climax inside me, all through me.

It was bliss.

27

lazarus

KESTREL CAME INTOmy room in the darkness, and he was angry.

I woke up before he said anything. I sat up in bed, alert, and waited, my heart starting to pick up speed in my chest.

He stayed in the darkness, and all I could see was the general, shadowy shape of him, even though bits of him seemed to fade out, insubstantial, against the other shapes of my darkened room. “You think I use him.”

He meant Paladin. I grabbed a handful of one of my blankets. “We both do,” I said.

“No, you blame me for it.”

“I blame myself, too,” I protested. We both knew Paladin was fucked up. We both knew he was damaged, deep-down damaged, and we didn’t try to fix him. We let him stay that way and took advantage of him. I was well aware, well fucking aware, of what sort of people we were.

Now, Clementine was here, in this mix of us, and she was on the path to being deep-down damaged, too, and apparently, we were all on the let’s-just-take-advantage-of-her-too train.

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