Page 10 of Stags

“Nope,” said Eiren.

“That can’t be true,” spoke up Rora, softly.

“Yeah, I call bullshit,” said Tawny.

“I don’t know,” said Eiren with a little shrug, sipping out of the straw of her mixed drink. “I think truth is like that a lot.”

“What? Depressing?”

“Painful,” said Eiren. “But it’s a certain kind of pain, a sort of clean pain, you know? It hurts, but in a good way.”

Tawny scoffed. “A good pain?”

Rora nodded. “I get it, yeah. That’s how I feel when I confront the fact that no one’s ever going to want me.”

“Oh, come on,” said Eiren, giving her a look. “That’s not true, that’s just a fear you have.”

Rora stirred her straw in her drink, shrugging. “And how do you know that’s not the feeling you’re having? That clean pain? It’s not truth, it’s just confirmation of something you were already afraid of.”

Eiren flinched. She gazed at Rora for a long moment. “Nope. It’s different. ‘Cause, when you just said that? Clean pain. You’re one of those types who’s quiet and unassuming and then just comes out with super insightful shit occasionally, huh?”

“I think both of you are just wallowing,” said Tawny. “Sorry! I know people don’t like hearing things like that, but there’s no reason to feel any kind of pain, clean or otherwise.”

“No?” said Eiren. “Well, if you don’t feel pain, what do you do with it?”

“Get mad,” said Tawny, lifting her glass. “Come on, girls, I know it’s not socially acceptable for women to feel this emotion, but it is entirely freeing. Let’s drink to anger.”

Eiren laughed. Despite everything, she found Tawny imminently likable. She clicked her glass against the other woman’s. “To anger.”

Rora clinked too, grinning at them both shyly. “To anger,” she said, and she looked a little bit like a mischievous angel.

“Anyway, what do you think?” Tawny eyed them both. “Should I let that cocky son of a bitch mount me if I run into him out there?”

“That’s not really up to us,” said Eiren.

“Coward, take a side,” said Tawny, giggling.

“No,” said Rora. “I didn’t like him.”

“What about his friend?” said Eiren. “He seemed nervous. Just a baby, really.”

“He seemed really familiar to me,” said Rora. “I could have sworn that he was this guy I knew, who used to date my friend Maibell, but then he acted like he never met me before.”

“Weird,” said Eiren.

“I must have him confused with someone else,” said Rora. “Anyway, he seemed sweet, or sweeter than the other one, anyway.”

“He’s too young for us,” said Tawny to Eiren. “But maybe perfect for Rora.”

Eiren sipped at her drink. “I think, if it were me, I would totally let him fuck me.”

Tawny laughed, throwing her head back.

“But also,” said Eiren, “you’re trying to get pregnant. You want that guy to be the father of your child? Because can’t these things get messy? Even if you conceive your child in a situation like this, courts come down on the side of DNA. If he wants to, he can claim rights and dual custody and all of that.”

“Oh, he would never,” said Tawny. “I don’t think I have to worry about that. He’s not the type.”

“He said he was an attorney,” said Rora. “So, he might be awful to go up against in court.”

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