Page 11 of Stags

Tawny nodded. “Okay, you’ve convinced me. I will not let that buck near me.”

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I did?” said Eiren.

Tawny’s jaw dropped open.

“Okay, that was a joke,” said Eiren quickly, sipping her drink. It had not been a joke, but she’d seen that if she wanted to retain Tawny as a friend that was the only way to go.

She didn’t understand women like Tawny, people who were so convinced that they were right about everything that they had no patience for anyone else’s point of view. But if she were to try to change a person like that, she’d become them, imposing her idea of right and wrong on others, regardless if they agreed. So, she was a live-and-let-live type.

She would inconvenience herself to keep the peace. It was worth it, she thought. There was a line, of course. Like everyone, she had boundaries.

Someone like Tawny’s boundaries were so narrow and confining, however, that everyone had to tiptoe around her.

Even so, while Eiren wouldn’tbeTawny, she sometimes envied people like that. Those sort of people took less shit than Eiren herself did, and Eiren could not deny that.

“No, it’s fine,” muttered Tawny. “I don’t care. If we go out to the midnight run, it might even be so dark we can’t even recognize them.” She giggled. “I can’t deny something about that is hot.” A pause. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging here. Back me up. It is hot.”

“It is,” agreed Eiren, raising her glass.

Tawny clinked hers against Eiren’s.

“Sorry,” said Rora, hunching up her shoulders. “I’m just nervous, I think.”

“You should find that Stockton guy,” said Tawny. “You said he seemed sweet. You guys could go back to his room. There is no reason to lose your virginity in a rite like this.”

Rora shook her head, pulling her drink in against her chest as if it could shield her. “No, no, no. I could never do that. How would I even approach him?”

“Here’s a line I’ve used with a hundred percent success rate on men of varying species,” said Eiren. “‘Hey there, you busy? You want to fuck me?’”

Tawny dissolved into giggles and Eiren followed suit.

Rora waited until they were done and then said, witheringly, “I don’t believe you’ve ever said that.”

“I…” Eiren shrugged. “No, not in those words, exactly, but my point is just that you’re making it too hard. It’s easier than you think it is.”

“Yeah, but we’re being too hard on her,” said Tawny. “I remember how it feels. There’s that whole point of time, when you’re young, when you think that you’re not good enough, and you have so much insecurity. When men treat you badly, you think, ‘It’s me.’ But it’s never you. There’s never anything wrong with you.”

“There have to be things wrong with some women,” said Rora pragmatically. “And besides, I have tried things. My friends and I, we’ll all go out to the bar together, and men will come up and they will approach everyone, all of them, but never me. Sometimes, I just end up in a conversation with one of my friends’ boyfriends. I’ve asked them what’s wrong with me, and they always say nothing.”

“Have you asked them if they’d fuck you if they weren’t dating your friends?” said Eiren, snickering.

“Oh, moon and sun, that’s a great way to end up without any friends,” said Rora.

“Yeah, don’tdothat,” said Tawny.

“Anyway, no one knows what it is,” said Rora. “I don’t think it’s a conscious thing, you know? I think it’s subconscious. And that whatever it is, I give off some kind of repellent. Maybe it’s a scent thing.”

“No,” said Eiren, shaking her head, her voice gentle. “No, look, Rora, this is just a thing that women worry about—that people worry about. People worry that they’re not good enough. Not just in love or attraction, but in everything. People get worried about that all the time. And it’s really normal, but you’re good enough. There’s nothing repellent about you.”

“I have to agree,” said Tawny.

“Well, I figure, we’ll find out,” said Rora. “At midnight. As long as that’s true, then someone will want to mount me tonight. But if no one does, then I’ll know I’m right and that something about me does repel men.”

Eiren looked the girl over. She was resisting the urge to say anything to her that might acknowledge any imperfections, because she knew that there was nothing significantly imperfect about Rora, and that Rora herself would have been much harder on herself than Eiren would be, but that any confirmation of that kind of thinking would make Rora think her flaws were worse than they were.

Tawny had no such inhibitions, clearly. “Okay, maybe you’re a little chubby, but it’s very nice, I think. Men like that, actually.”

“She is not even chubby!” Eiren protested. The girl wasn’t. She was young and she had baby fat, maybe, and she was full-figured, maybe, but she wanted to reach across the table and strangle Tawny for having said that.

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