Page 119 of Stags

“Really?” said Tawny. “You want to fight for the guy who didn’t contradict you when you said you were tainted? He needs to get over it, and you can’t do it for him. You can’t make him step up. He’s got to do it himself. I say make a clean break. It’ll hurt for a while, but not forever. You’re stronger than you think, Rora.”

“But he’s insecure,” said Rora. “I was the person that made him feel safe, and—”

“He needs to get over his insecurity,” said Tawny.

“But I’m insecure too,” said Rora. “So, how can I demand that from him when I feel it every single day?”

“I do get that,” said Eiren, nodding. “There’s something to be said for being two people who are both struggling, but having each other through the struggle, you know?”

Tawny scoffed. “Please. You are both way too willing to settle for things that aren’t good enough.”

“In a romance novel,” said Rora, “a girl can’t fight for the guy.”

“In the real world, if a woman has to fight for a man and he won’t fight for her, it says something about the man,” said Tawny.

Rora sighed, feeling defeated. “Maybe it does.” And she didn’t want to face that, so she turned to Tawny and said, “Okay, back to you. Go back to what you were dodging!”

Tawny groaned. “Oh, fine. I’m in some kind of thing with Athos. Actually, the truth is, he told me about a conversation he had with Bruin at the Center that weekend, and we speculated on whether it was you or not, Rora, but I never said anything because I was hiding Athos like a deep, dark secret!”

“Athos?” said Rora, confused.

“Wait, that buck you thought was horrible, the one you took to task about weaponized incompetence?” said Eiren, giggling.

Tawny nodded, grimacing. “He is, you know, incompetent, I guess? But he’s also, like…” She threw up her hands. “I get the feeling that he’s maybe just genuinely lacking in self-esteem to a degree? I wonder if I’m too hard on him.”

“That guy?” said Eiren, laughing. “Too hard on him?”

Tawny groaned. “I don’t want to be the cliché who says that he’s sensitive deep down or whatever, but…”

“He’s sensitive deep down?” Eiren teased.

“He used to be married to a swan,” said Tawny. “I think he wants a pair bond. I think he wants a family, like a two-parent family. And I’m letting him, you know, try to get me pregnant on a pretty regular basis.”

“Whoa, he’s the sperm donor?” said Rora.

Tawny squared her shoulders. “I can be hard on people, you know?”

Eiren considered this.

“I mean…” Tawny looked at Rora. “Just in this conversation, I have told you more than once that you need to do things differently, haven’t I?”

“Yeah,” said Rora, “but I know you. That’s just how you are.”

“Just how I am,” muttered Tawny.

“I didn’t mean anything bad by it,” said Rora quickly.

Tawny pointed at her. “There. That.”

“What?” said Rora.

“You’re afraid of me,” said Tawny. “People always are, eventually. And in relationships with men, it always gets to this point where… but I think he thinks he deserves it.”

“We’re talking about Athos now?” said Eiren.

“I think he thinks he’s pointless, that all men are pointless, and that he has to listen to everything that I say, or else he’ll…” Tawny dragged her hands over her face.

“I’m not afraid of you,” said Rora.

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