Page 121 of Stags

Maybe it would have only meant that he was burying his pain instead of dealing with it, but there was something to be said for distracting oneself in the face of a setback, something to be said for standing up and facing the world with bravery.

He kept these thoughts to himself, however, as Rora resolutely went past him and up the staircase to the second floor of the apartment. Bruin probably shouldn’t have, but he followed her. She marched to Stockton’s door, which was shut, and she banged on it.

“Go away, Bruin,” came Stockton’s voice from within.

“It’s me,” she said.

The door opened. Stockton was wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants and a wrinkled t-shirt. His hair was mussed. He looked her over, shaking his head. “I told you I needed time.”

“I know,” she said. “But what about whatIneed?”

Stockton blinked at her. A few moments passed and then Stockton simply shrugged.

“Let me come in,” said Rora.

Stockton looked over her head at his father. “No, let’s just all talk about this together, why don’t we? Since we’re all so very, very close now, and we’ve all seen Rora’s tits.”

Rora’s eyes widened. “Don’t you dare be like that. This is between you and me, Stockton.”

Stockton came out of his room and shut the door behind himself. He folded his arms over his chest and lounged there. “You two, tell me about it. Tell me what it was like between you. Did she make those little breathy noises when you made her come, Bruin? Rora, is my dick bigger or is my dad’s bigger?”

“Stop it.” She glared at him. “You don’t get to do this. You are acting like it’s some kind of competition. It’s not.”

Stockton sighed. “Why? Because you pick me?”

“Yes, I do,” she said immediately.

Stockton straightened up. He looked over at his father and then back at her. “But look at him, Rora, look at him, and look at me, and look atyou. You wouldhaveto pick him, because I’m skinnier and younger and I have less money, and I don’t know what I’m doing and—”

“No, that’s exactly why I don’t want him,” she said. She glanced at Bruin. “No offense.”

“I’m not offended,” he said. “For me to be with a girl like you is to relish some kind of power differential. It’s not what I want. It’s not who I am. It was selfish what I did with you. Even if you and Stockton weren’t together, it still would have been selfish.”

“Power differential.” Stockton rolled his eyes. “You have some kind of ego, Bruin, don’t you?”

“Do I have an ego, son, or do you have a crippling lack of self-worth?” Bruin countered.

Stockton let out a noise of disbelief. He put his hand on the door knob, as if he was simply going to exit the conversation. But then he paused and turned back to Rora. “You didn’t finish. Why don’t you want him?”

“When I met Bruin, I was looking for some man to rescue me,” said Rora. “I was looking for someone to prove to me that I was desirable and worthy and good enough.” She gave Bruin a helpless glance. “Maybe it was selfish onmypart.”

“No,” said Bruin.

“But when I’m with you, Stockton…” Rora chewed on her bottom lip. “You said you didn’t want me to be yours. You said you wanted us to belong to each other. We are equals. We’re the same. And that’s why I pick you.”

Stockton lifted his chin.

“I have a crippling lack of self-worth, too, you know,” Rora said.

As if in spite of himself, the corners of Stockton’s mouth pulled upwards.

“Anyway,” she said, “I couldn’t just sit around waiting on you any longer. I had to come and say that.” She paused. “But I guess now, having said it, I should, um, go.”

Stockton looked down at his pajamas. “Uh, I would ask you to stay, but I am kind of…” He gestured. “Can we, maybe later…?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“I’ll text you,” he said.

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