Page 127 of Stags

He got up after she did.

When he came back, he was holding the unopened box. He tapped it against his palm. “Tawny, if you don’t want to have a baby with me, uh, you’re going to need to tell me at some point.”

“That’s a really weird thing to say,” she said. She was getting dressed. They were at his place and she was going to walk home.

“Yeah, it confuses me, too,” he said. “Because I know at least some part of you likes me and likes being around me. But I guess there’s a difference between liking fucking me and wanting me in your life in that way. And I think you’re just running from that.”

She glared at him. “Is that what I am doing.”

“You have this strong sense of justice, of right and wrong, and you don’t like to do things that you think are wrong. You got it in your head the minute you met me thatIwas wrong. You feel guilty about being with me, and you have all along, and I have known for a long time that we were going to come down to it, at some point, that you were going to have to grapple with whatever that moral struggle was within you, and you’d never be able to see a way through to accepting me.”

She sputtered. “No.”

“No?”

“I’m not the person who thinks something is wrong with you,” she said.

“What?” he said.

“You think it,” she said. “You think there’s something wrong with you. There’s no other excuse why you would put up with me for this long. You think you have to take what you can get, and so you’ve just settled for this, and it’s making me crazy.”

“What are you talking about?” he said.

She sighed. “Let’s not, okay? Can you just let me take a pregnancy test when I am good and ready?”

“It’s about being pregnant,” he said, nodding slowly.

“No, it’s nothing.” She huffed.

“You don’t want to be pregnant,” he said in a soft, wondering voice.

“I never said that!” She yanked her shirt over her head.

“I get that. It’s a lot.” He went to her, taking one of her hands in both of his. “I bet it seems really scary when you get right up on it, doesn’t it?”

“I’m not afraid.” She yanked her hand back.

“You know, you’ve admitted to being afraid before.” He looked her over.

“Okay, fine, sure. I’m afraid. There. We good?”

He fiddled with his antlers, not saying anything.

“Well,” she said, letting out a noisy breath, “I’m going.”

“I want to talk about it,” he said suddenly.

She rounded on him, annoyed.

“I mean, if you feel ambushed right now, fair enough. You pick when we talk, then.”

Her shoulders slumped as she groaned. “Athos… please.”

“Later tonight? I’ll pick up something and bring it by your place for dinner?”

She shook her head. “You know what? Forget it. Just forget all of it. This is over.”

He raised his eyebrows. “This is over? What is over?”

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