Page 2 of Stags

“More comfortable ways,” said Eiren. “Ways that mean it won’t happen after running in the out of doors.”

Tawny and Eiren both laughed.

“Maybe for other people,” said Rora. “But trust me, I have tried, and no one wants to, not with me.”

“Oh, come on, that’s not true!” said Eiren.

“Definitely not,” said Tawny. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

Rora laughed, spreading her hands. “And yet.”

Tawny nodded slowly. Right, this was it, then. They all thought something was wrong with them. Sure, Eiren might say this was a lark, but there was a reason she’d been drawn into being this impulsive in the first place.

Eiren put her hand on Rora’s arm, comforting. “Oh, I get that. It’s just… it isn’t true.”

“The thing is,” said Tawny, “we’ve all exhausted ourselves with conventional means of mating, haven’t we?”

“Conventional according to whom?” said Eiren, but she was grinning.

“Conventional according to society at large,” said Tawny. “And, no matter whether it’s ‘natural’ for deerkin to pair bond or not, it’s something we have all tried, isn’t it?”

“No,” said Rora, giggling. “Didn’t I just get done saying that—”

“Well, it’s what you wanted,” said Tawny. “Not just to get laid, but to fall in love. With one guy, and to have the whole package, mom, dad, kids, nuclear family unit. People want it.”

“Right, and if it were so ‘natural,’” said Eiren, “it’d be easy to have, and it’s not, not even for species who traditionally mate for life with one other person. You’ve seen the statistics on divorce, even for wolf and eagle mates, haven’t you? There’s nothing wrong with us, that’s all I’m saying. If we tried and it didn’t work… that’s actually normal. Most relationships don’t work. Most relationships end. If one doesn’t, you stay in it, but you never know when one person is going to wake up one morning ask for a divorce, do you?”

“That’s very depressing,” said Tawny.

“Saying depressingly true things is my gift,” said Eiren with a little grin. “Truthisdepressing, by and large.”

“I don’t agree with that,” said Rora, shaking her head.

Tawny sighed. She might, actually, agree with that. But some things were better off not being said. “I was married to a squirrelkin. We both agreed we were going to do in vitro, since we knew we couldn’t reproduce naturally. I don’t want to be an old mom, you know? So, at that point, I’m twenty-nine years old, and I start saying we need to start the process, and he doesn’t want to spend the money. He puts me off two years before he completely does an about-face and says he doesn’t want kids at all. He wasted my most fertile years,wastedthem.” She seethed, still angry at her ex-husband for what he’d done to her. “So, I don’t know. I tried the apps. I tried dating. But I want a baby, damn it.”

“I’d be here too, then,” said Eiren, nodding at her. “Good for you, and sorry you went through that with your ex-husband.” She shrugged. “Me? I’ve just had no luck whatsoever with men and relationships. If I like him, he doesn’t like me, and if he likes me, I don’t like him that much. You know how that goes?”

“Sure,” said Tawny.

“Longest I’ve ever dated anyone is six months,” said Eiren with a shrug. “I know there’s no point in thinking there’s something wrong with me, but…”

“But it’s hard, sometimes,” said Tawny quietly, against her better judgment. “Because you look around at everyone else, and it seems so easy for them.”

“Yes,” said Rora, “so easy for all of them. And then, for you, it’s…” Her voice got quiet. “Hard.”

They were all silent for a moment, looking at each other.

“You think everyone feels this way?”

“Some people are married to their high school sweethearts with three adorable children,” said Tawny caustically. “Not everyone feels this way.”

“Well, aboutsomething,” said Eiren. “Nothing’s easy for everyone.”

Rora lifted her chin.

Tawny shook her head.

Eiren reconsidered. “True, some people do have charmed existences, don’t they? There are people for whom everything comes easily.”

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