Page 47 of The Summers of Us

“So, how’d you start dating?”

“Well, we had Biology together last semester and, get this…” She leaned over like it was a secret only the sand between us could hear. “I heard all this crap about him being really entitled, so I was dreading being his lab partner. Then I got to know him and we clicked and one day he asked me out. I said yes and the rest is history.”

I nodded. It was a nice story, almost like she was reading it from some romance book tucked away in our bags. Maybe I was being too Quinn about the whole situation, holding on to my benefit of the doubt until it was too heavy to give out.

“What do you guys do together?” I asked, when what I really meant was:Does he control you?

“You know, the usual date things.” She swallowed what seemed to be the rest of her words.

“Idon’tknow, actually.” I laughed to keep things lighthearted. Wewereon the beach after all,under a band of blue sky and the soundtrack of whooshing waves and seagulls.

“Oh, right.” Haven smiled her brand-new smile at me. “Like…well, I go to his house to watch movies. We go to Hammerhead’s sometimes when Holden’s not working. We drive around a lot and listen to music in his car.”

“Are you happy?”

“Of course I’m happy!” Her eyebrows furrowed.

Did people who claimed to be happy in their relationship usually look so threatened by the thought of the opposite? Could Haven even see it well enough to know better? Was she too close to the situation, too blinded to notice the rest of the world waiting around for her? Or was I too far from the situation, too jaded to notice the rest of the world waiting around forme?

I was probably projecting. In disbelief that a relationship could bring joy. Uneducated on how one half of a couple should act without their partner. Bitter, maybe. Jealous, certainly.

“I just want to make sure you’re happy, that’s all.” I finished my soda and tossed the bottle by our feet. The sand stuck to the wet glass.

“You have nothing to worry about. I pinky promise,” she said, beaming. Her pinky shone just as bright.

After we linked pinkies, I let the conversation end. There was too much sun and catching up to do.

I told her about my new obsession with daily horoscopes, the new decor I got for my bedroom, and this funny story about our homecoming queen getting dethroned minutes later. Haven shared stories of herquinceañeraplanning, the quest for the perfect dress, and the great uncle who got way too drunk on the night of the party and broke his arm on the dance floor.

We pushed and pulled until the morning sun turned to afternoon.

“Come on, let’s go find the boys.” Haven wet the sand with the rest of her Diet Coke. “And get the hell in the water before we shrivel up and die.”

In the ocean, it was hard to relax.Even though I loved everything about the beach, the unknown water still freaked me out. Sharks, stingrays,realjellyfish, a riptide. But I wanted to have fun, so I exhaled and tried to ignore the threats that most likely wouldn’t happen to me.

“Hey.” Haven grabbed my wrist, steadying me from the horizon. “Float on the water like me and Everett.”

Everett was outstretched like he was doing snow angels in snow that had melted into an ocean. With his eyes closed, he took light breaths after each wave slid over his face. The waves were calm, so he was too.

Haven threw herself into the only white-capped wave around. She let it catch her and throw her back into a standing position. After the big wave, she did the same thing as Everett.

I wanted to be that calm and careless. I tried to replicate them, but I plunged into the water as soon as I loosened my muscles. Beyond the sudden shock of hot shoulders entering cold water, it was actually refreshing. I steadied myself on the sandy floor and wiped the salt water from my eyes. Haven and Everett watched me, hidden smiles on their faces, visible only in their eyes. Water ran off my eyelashes. My mouth tasted like a salt shaker.

Everett walked toward me with his palms up. “Let us help.”

I gulped. This was worse than letting him slather sunscreen on me. Still, I nodded and let them hold me on top of the water.

“I know for a fact you’re not relaxed.” Haven moved her head to block the sun from my eyes. “You need to relax. Fear makes you heavier.”

She was right, but it wasn’t my fault; there was a hand on the dimples of my back that might or might not have been Everett’s, which made my heart float.

“That’s not a thing.” I laughed.

“It is to me!”

I tried my best to listen to Haven, to forget Everett was watching the sun illuminate my chest and stomach and thighs. I tried to forget how much twisting and turning romance did to people. Forget the muscles in my neck that whined from how tensely I held them.

A wave drifted over my ears, taking my hearing with me into the muffled underwater world. Finally, I released the last bit of anchors riddling my joints. I couldn’t feel my arms. My eyelids played a show for me with the swirly sun rays. I anticipated the ebb and flow of waves like a surfer with a sixth sense.

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