Page 57 of The Summers of Us

I heard him sobbing.

It was time to get the hell out of there before I started sobbing, too. I ran into the house, dizzy again from crying and a growing headache and the music still pounding through the air. I was steady enough to find Haven wrapped in Chance on the same couch as earlier.

I grabbed her by the wrists, looked Chance in the face with fire in my eyes, then stomped both of us the hell out of the house.

Age 15, July 31

The sun had risen again.

My blinds stenciled the sunlight on my seahorse comforter. My head sank heavily into the pillow. I was hungover from crying. I moved my face away from the sun, but by the time I was comfortable, the sun had caught up to me. I groaned and turned around. Haven was fast asleep next to me. Long, sleepy breaths escaped her.

I’d spent the rest of last night walking Haven back to safety at my house, ranting to her drunk ears in the streetlights about all the shit that happened with Everett and Holden. Haven tried her best to act sober when we realized Blair was still up watching TV. She laughed a little too loudly at the local car dealership commercial, so I was sure Blair wasn’t convinced. I was expecting a lecture today, maybe a grounding of sorts.

But when I checked my phone, there was only a text from Holden.

I’m sorry. Meet me at Mason’s dock?

I peeled myself from the bed and closed the curtains to save Haven from the rising sun. It had to be even more brutal on hungover eyes. I got half-ready for the day and left Haven an ibuprofen and water on the nightstand.

I texted her that I’d be back with donuts—yes, the ones covered in Fruity Pebbles—but I had somewhere to be first.

I biked over the cracksin the sidewalk and swerved around fallen pine cones. I turned into Mason’s driveway, rested my bike on their lawn, and descended toward the dock. In the backyard, two different shades of green cascaded across the yard and contrasted with the dark blue ripples of the sound. The boat Holden and Mason were restoring floated idly on the sound.

Holden sat at the end of the dock, resting against wooden rails with a fishing rod in his hand.

The dock creaked on my first step. I counted each plank as I walked. It took me forty planks to gain the courage to look up at him, another twenty to finally reach the platform at the end.

He didn’t hear me, so I moved in for a closer look. “Holden?”

His neck was bent and his eyes were clearly closed behind his sunglasses. His long, sleepy breaths were identical to Haven’s. The shark tooth necklace Haven made him for their birthday this year shone around his neck.

Holden was asleep with a fishing pole cast into the water.

I couldn’t help my smile. This was so Holden, and I loved Holden, despite the fire he’d breathed in my direction last night.

I tiptoed around his sprawled legs and under the fishing pole. I sat in a clearing between him and the side of the dock, pulling my knees up to my chest to hold them close. The morning breeze danced against my warm skin. Confused goosebumps awoke in the ninety-degree weather.

The water was more green than blue. It would have blurred into the tree line if the sun wasn’t sending white glints across the ripples. The sky was the most vibrant of blues, stark against the more subdued trees. I always thought this richness was only possible in the depths of summer when the sun got hot enough to evaporate color from the ocean.

The current from hundreds of miles inland headed for the ocean without a choice in the matter.

If Everett was the ocean, then I was the river’s current.

I’d tried to stop myself from feeling things for him, but some things couldn’t be stopped, like a rollercoaster on its descent from happiness. The unstoppable force of a riptide.

Wind rustled salt grass in the marsh behind us. A cluster of gnats circled in the distance. My mind got swept away by a single gnat, tracing its path in the sky until it plummeted to the water and I lost track of it. My eyes fluttered closed. I dozed between a dream state and reality.

In the real world, I watched Holden’s face long enough to catch it twitch. There was no pain in his face. Not like last night. He looked so untouched by the world, and I hoped he was dreaming of wonderful things, not whatever plagued him last night.

A force from deep within the water jerked at the fishing rod. The rod slid across the grainy wood,propelled by a fish on the line. Holden jumped up, the sleep immediately washing off of him as he jerked the rod to snag the fish.

He didn’t notice me behind him while he wound the line up. Anticipation built, then died just as quickly.

He reeled the empty line in, shoulders slumped, then jumped when he saw me. “Shit, Quinn. How long have you been here?”

“Long enough to wonder what you were just dreaming about.”

“I dreamt I caught a blue marlin.” When he sat down, the distance between us was greater than before. He smiled, but his face fell when reality settled in. “Quinn, I’m so sorry. I was an ass last night. More than an ass. I shouldn’t have taken out my frustration on you.”

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