Page 58 of The Summers of Us

“What’s more than an ass?”

His eyebrows raised. “A dick?”

“You were a dick last night,” I deadpanned.

He wavered with what I said, then nodded like the taste was fine. “Sure. I’m sorry for being a dick.”

I laughed. I’d let it go far enough. “I forgive you. Despite the fact that you were a dick.”

“Really?” His smile returned.

“Holden, come on. You think I came all this way to not forgive you?”

“Thank you.” He brushed through his hair. It was messy like it was last night. He wouldn’t have any more hair to rack if this kept up.

“What happened last night?” I finally asked.

“It’s hard to talk about.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek, looking at the water. “But you deserve to know at this point. It doesn’t excuse my behavior, but…” His hair fell into his face. His jaw clenched. He swallowed. “Last night I saw Mason kiss another guy.”

Another? As in,not Holden. I nodded, now fully understanding why Holden had been helping him fix up a boat, why they were always together. Why Holden took last night so personally. Mason.

“Do you like him?”

Holden slouched over, shoulders hunched like a cat ready to strike. He stared blankly at the fishing rod between his strewn-out legs. He moved an entire mountain with one small nod.

I put my hand on his shoulder, squeezed for comfort. “Does he know you like him?”

“No. I can barely tell myself.”

“Haven?”

He nodded again. “She thinks he likes me back. But she’s my sister, she’s supposed to tell me that.”

“Really? Haven would lie to makeyoufeel better? Come on, Holden. Think about it.”

He chuckled, warming up beyond the now-broken ice. “I don’t know what to do. Last night, I was so drunk when I saw Mason kiss Luke. I didn’t react right away because I didn’t want him to know I gave a shit. I also didn’t want him to think I was mad that he was kissing a boy.”

“What does he think you were mad at?”

“You. Because of Everett. When I ran into him and I asked him why he looked so upset, I funneled my anger onto you. Quinn, I’ve liked Mason since we were thirteen. All I’ve ever wanted was a chance. To know that you like Everett and he likes you and you didn’t kiss him last night, well, I was jealous of you.” He shook his head, cleared his throat. “Iamjealous of you, but I know that everyone’s story is different.”

Holden was jealous ofme? I watched the buzzy gnats again, pondering Holden’s perspective. His logic was crystal clear, despite the muddy way he went about handling things last night. In his shoes, I’d feel the same way. “I know I can be ridiculous sometimes. I want to fix it. You were right to be upset.”

“I wasn’t, but I appreciate the lie. Haven might not lie to make me feel better, but you do.”

“You should already know I’m not a convincing liar.”

Holden didn’t prod, which I was glad for, because then I’d have to justify not kissing a boy I liked. I should have done it, then I wouldn’t have been on Mason Barclay’s dock staring at the water like the ripples could hypnotize me into fixing everything.

“Idolike him, for the record. It’s just hard.”

“I know.” He smirked, then winked at me. “I’m not going to tell him or anything, but you should.”

“Don’t even start with me.” I stuck my tongue out at him, both of us two sides of the same coin. I took the spotlight off me with my next words. “When you needed Mason, he went with you instead of sticking with Luke. Did you notice that? He took care of you. He chose you.”

“He’s myfriend. You would do the same for Haven, I’m sure.”

“That’s not the same thing.”

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