Page 30 of Ravenous

“Take one more, I think I blinked,” Tommy insisted after the shutter sounded.

Ollie darted back and forth again, ignoring the dizziness, and it was worth it. The second picture was better. As he color-corrected it, Ollie marveled at how perfect they all looked together. His family was so photogenic; he’d love to do a livestream with them but Sophie didn’t like social media and Tommy gyrated like an exotic dancer whenever he was on video.

“Good work.” His father high-fived Ollie, who sent everyone the finished product before giving back the phone. “I’m glad you like the tennis racket.”

“I do!” Ollie beamed, beyond pleased with his Christmas gift. The minute he saw it, the first thing on his mind was playing a match with Finn. “I’d been looking at that one for a while. It’s a good weight and head size. I can’t wait to get it strung! Thank you again for the strings, Tommy.” He nodded at his brother, who toasted him with a pretzel rod.

“Tommy, stop snacking, we’re about to eat!” Biz tried to snatch it away but Tommy was faster, holding it above his head where she couldn’t reach.

“I’m a growing boy! I need a lot of fuel.” He lowered the stick to take a puff off it like it was a real cigar.

“Dinner is ready!” his mother called out from the kitchen, and they all moved to the dining room, sitting at a gorgeous table set with gold linen napkins and fancy porcelain plates. Shifting in his chair, Ollie readied himself. There was no way around it, he had to eat today. His family would be watching. There’d be glances out of the corners of eyes, meaningful looks between parents and siblings, things left unspoken but understood, and Ollie would feel it all.

So, once everything was in front of him, he helped himself like he never restricted and measured every calorie, staring at his plate once he was done. There was so much on it and he had to clear at least sixty percentanda little dessert to evade suspicion. That’s why he’d made a deal with himself. He was allowed to eat for today and not for the rest of the week; plus, he’d add in some extra runs and cardio in his room until he worked everything off. Spearing a green bean with his fork, he ignored the butter dripping from it, carefully placing it in his mouth.

“A little bird named Ollie told me that Liam Gray got engaged last night,” Biz announced, drowning her mashed potatoes in gravy.

“That’s wonderful news!” Ollie’s mother smiled widely, clapping her hands together and then holding them by her chest. “That boy deserves to be happy. Oliver, I’m so glad you befriended him again.”

“He’s a great guy. I helped him pick out the ring for his partner, who was also buying a ring.” With Finn. It was extraordinary how their lives ran parallel to each other. Sampling the turkey, he hummed as it practically melted in his mouth, not used to something so rich. “This is delicious, mom.”

She stared for a moment, her eyes traveling from his plate to his face and her smile grew. “Thank you. And is there anyoneyou’dlike to tell us about?”

Ollie tried not to choke. As much as he wanted to gush about Finn, his mind was still muddled. He wanted to put the entire decision on hold until after the family holiday but it was constantly swirling in his head, and Finn’s sweet morning texts weren’t making things any easier. “Not right now?”

“Does that mean maybe later? So, thereissomeone?” His mother honed in and four more pairs of eyes joined her. He gave Biz a glance that saidhelp mebut it was Tommy who came to his rescue.

“I don’t think anyone cares but I have a girlfriend now,” he revealed around a mouthful of food.

All heads swiveled to him, and Ollie let out a breath, grateful that the pressure was off. He watched, picking up small morsels from his plate and chewing slowly as his family interacted, teasing each other, laughing, and being amazing as they always were. His father had placed a hand on his mother’s forearm and she gazed at him like he hung the moon. Biz and Tommy were elbowing each other over the last dinner roll, and Sophie was talking animatedly about the new wing at her hospital, her eyes bright with enthusiasm.

But all Ollie could feel was dread, hanging over him like a shroud, and he gripped his fork, trying not to let it clatter on the plate.

How many more joyful holidays would he get? Would this be the last one before his family started dissolving piece by piece? How long did his parents have? Would they meet the same fate as Liam’s mother and father, being snuffed out before their time? Or would they succumb to illness, withering away right in front of Ollie’s eyes? And what if something happened to Sophie? Or Biz? Or Tommy? This content and cozy family table would empty as he lost them one by one. Or would he be the first to go?

“Oliver, hun? Are you okay?” His mother’s voice cut through his thoughts and he looked up to find everyone watching him.

“U-Uh,” he coughed around the lump in his throat. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine.” Without thinking, he shoved half a roll into his mouth. An awkward silence lingered as his mother and father shared a brief glance before she smiled again.

“I was just checking.”

Ollie nodded, reassuring her, and even though the conversations resumed, they were a little stilted. Ollie tried to ignore the pallor he put on the meal and the specter that loomed above him, but once his mother pushed her chair back and stood, his dread grew exponentially, filling the room.

“Let’s clear the table and bring out dessert.”

On hands and knees, Ollie gasped for air as the room spun around him. Sweat dripped from his brow to the floor.

“Fifteen more seconds! Are you here to exercise? Or totrain?” his laptop screamed. This was the second of three workouts and he was already exhausted. The Christmas calories were off but he didn’t want to break his momentum, for he’d busted through his last plateau, and when he checked his hips in the mornings they jutted out nicely. He was so close now, almost light enough.

His phone chirped and he reached up to pause the video before crawling over to it.

I wish I could see you tonight but, alas, I’m heading to work,sat across the lock screen. It made sense. Tonight was big for rideshare; Finn would probably bring in a ton of cash.

They hadn’t seen each other since the infamous Christmas Eve party but they’d been texting every day, and while it was lovely, it didn’t help Ollie with his answer. So much of him wanted to say yes. He found Finn fascinating; even their most mundane conversations had Ollie’s heart fluttering, and Finn always knew what to say, making Ollie blush, laugh, or feel strangely understood.

Yet Ollie couldn’t help but see the end. He didn’t want Finn to become another person to lose or another person who watched his meals and his weight. Besides, if they dated, Finn would eventually want to see Ollie naked and while Ollie was becoming happier with his body it didn’t mean that he was ready to put it on display. Although he’d had sex before, this smaller body made him oddly more self-conscious and he couldn’t explain why. All he knew was that if he got together with Finn, then intimacy would be on the table.

For those reasons and many others, Ollie was locked at a standstill. He needed a sign, something to push him in the right direction.

---