Page 50 of Ravenous

Happy for the respite, Finn stopped at a light and brushed his hand along Ollie’s cheekbone. “Never mind. Get some rest.”

Ollie didn’t need to be told twice, he was out like a light in under five seconds and Finn drove the rest of the way back in silence. He planned to carry Ollie up to his room and ply him with water but Ollie blinked awake as soon as Finn opened the passenger door. He was still very out of it, so Finn kept him upright, walking him to his room and putting him in the overstuffed orange chair that sat in the corner, where he slumped, barely conscious.

“Hang on, I’m getting you more water.” Finn turned, intending to head downstairs, but he froze when Ollie spoke.

“I’m hungry. Soooo hungry.” There was a deep sadness in those words and they wrapped around Finn’s heart, squeezing it in fear.

“Do you, uh…” Finn swallowed, turning back. “Do you want me to make you something to eat?”

Ollie’s shoulders shook like he might be laughing but the look on his face was utter disgust. “Noooo. Food isbad.”

An icy chill rippled through Finn’s body. “Why is food bad?”

Ollie gave him a look full of certainty, a blip of mild coherence that broke through the cloud of intoxication. “Because it’ll hold me down and I need to be faster than the end.” Then it was gone, the alcohol taking over once again as Ollie slumped even further in his chair, closing his eyes and laying his head on the armrest.

Sitting down hard on the end of the bed, Finn ran a hand through his hair, his mind spinning.

All of his and Liam’s suspicions were true. Ollie was restricting food past the point of a simple diet, using it as a control. It wasn’t out of the ordinary; many people did unhealthy things to escape negative feelings and Ollie had admitted that he feared the future - what might happen to the people he cared about, what might happen to him - and that he could only see the end, the tragic end he needed to outrun. It gave him anxiety, a reluctance to commit, and caused him to starve his own body.

This wasnotgood.

Gritting his teeth, Finn tried to shake off the chill when his eyes rested on the bedside table. Sitting there, dried but obviously treasured, was the sunflower that Finn had gifted Ollie with on New Year’s Eve. Shifting across the mattress, he reached out and gently stroked one of the brittle petals. Ollie kept this token beside him while he slept because it meant something to him. BecauseFinnmeant something to him. And that took Finn’s cold fear and transformed it into steel devotion.

Now he understood why Owen was so intent on helping Liam because Finn wasn’t going to let Ollie go through this alone. Whatever he needed to do to keep this bright patch of sunlight in his life, he’d do it. And he’d show Ollie that it wasn’t the end that mattered, it was the journey to it.

And that journey started with another glass of water. Quickly running to the kitchen and back, Finn was surprised to find Ollie awake again, blinking up at him with watery eyes. “I thought youuuu left.”

“Just getting you more water.” Helping Ollie sit up, Finn offered the glass to his lips. Again, he took measured sips until the glass was empty. Satisfied, Finn put it aside. “How muchdidyou have to drink?”

“Two vodka sodaaas.” Ollie exhaled upward, making the curls on his forehead jump. “Ugh, I’m gonna be soooo bloated.”

“I think you’ll just be hungover.” Extending his arm, Finn offered Ollie his hand. Ollie stared at it for a moment, perplexed, before realizing what he had to do. Quickly, he grasped it, and Finn hauled him up. “How about I put you in bed?”

While Ollie could stand, he swayed so much that Finn had to hold onto him tightly.

“Mmm,” Ollie whispered in his ear. “We could-”

“I’m not doing anything with you in this state,” Finn told him in a gruff voice. “Bed.”

The few steps to the mattress were more of a stumble-drag but eventually Ollie flopped down sideways, pushing his head into the pillow.

“Are you leavin’?” he asked as Finn knelt by his feet, sliding off his glittery red boots. Placing them out of the way, he turned back to Ollie and got lost in those impossible blue eyes.

To be fair, a responsible boyfriend wouldn’t leave Ollie alone when he was this inebriated. He could fall or worse; plus, hewantedFinn’s company, and maybe they’d have some time to talk in the morning.

“If I stay over, snuggling is the line, okay?” Sitting on the bed, Finn played with one of Ollie’s curls, watching as those pleading eyes started to close.

“Mmhmm…” Ollie’s voice drifted off and Finn took that as a yes.

Standing, Finn went back to the kitchen and filled two glasses of water this time, putting both on Ollie’s night table, within easy reach. Then he shed his shoes, flannel, socks, and belt, leaving them all in a neat pile on the chair before shutting off the lamps. Moonlight spilled into the room, and Finn admired it as he slid into Ollie’s soft lovely bed. The mattress was like a cloud, and he was glad that he’d decided to watch over Ollie, who was already deeply asleep.

Gathering him close, Finn spooned around Ollie’s smaller body, and that icy chill reappeared, spreading through his chest. Lately, Ollie had taken to bundling up in layers, which made sense during the winter, and even though he currently wore several shirts under a chunky sweater, his shoulder blades were sharp, poking through all that cloth. Sure, Finn had touched Ollie before, but he rarely had the chance to hold on, to explore, to see through the camouflage and grasp how thin Ollie truly was, and he was cursing himself that he’d missed it.

Placing a gentle kiss on the back of Ollie’s neck, Finn rubbed his nose against skin that smelled like powder and lilies, whispering a promise, a plea, a pledge, something he’d said the first time he’d held Ollie in his arms. “Don’t be afraid. I’m here now.”

“Oh my god.”

Finn cracked an eye open as the bed moved and Ollie sat up like he’d been summoned back to life. It was quickly followed by a gasp as he cradled his head in his hands.

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