Page 23 of Breaking Her In

It was neverhimholding back. Neverhisresistance.

It was never me pushing him too hard, making him feel uncomfortable. It was never him trying to be the good guy and keep his distance because he was afraid of ruining my innocence or whatever lie he made up. He pushed me away because my father told him to.

Because of my dad’s money.

Because of my dad’s power.

And the worst part? He never even told me.

Not once. He let me think he was telling me the truth–that I was chasing a man who had real reasons for pushing me away. Who maybe even didn’t want me. Who didn’t care what I felt when he said no.

And now he’s in there, talking to my dad like I’m some treasure–some prize thathedecides who gets to have. Like the two of them get to decide my future.

Heart racing, panting like a dog, sweating, I stumble backward, the gravel crunching beneath Colt’s boots I’m still wearing. My body is on fire. My chest is aching. I race away, leaving the tack room behind me.

And I don’t stop running until I reach the property line.

* * *

The sun isgold and angry as I sit beneath the old oak tree by the fence. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. An hour–maybe two. Maybe more. Long enough for the wind to have picked up and whip the dust from the road across my tear-streaked cheeks.

I’m feel stupid.

Sostupid.

Colt made me think I was special. That there was something real between us. And maybe,just maybe, Colt actually does love me. Maybe he didn’t want to fall for me, and maybe the way he looks at me when we’re together is actually honest. Maybe we have something.

But you know what we don’t have anymore?Trust.

He kept the truth from me. He let me wonder for days what was wrong with me and why he didn’t just take me like I assumed he wanted to. He let me lie awake at night, wondering what in the world was going to happen between us–if anything.

And I hate him for it.

I hate him–and I love him. Somebody help me.

I hear the sound of his truck before I see him, then his voice calling my name. “Lena!”

My whole body goes stiff, and I curl up even tighter like if I get into an even smaller ball, he won’t be able to see me.

I could wait for him to find me. Wait for his apologies–demand them from him.

But I can’t even bear to see his face. Not when I know what I know now.

Not when I’ll probably end up forgiving him the second he wraps his thick, warm, strong arms around me. I’ll melt into his muscled magnetism and give myself to him…

And that’s what scares me the most.

So again, I run.

I hear him calling my name behind me, “Lena! Lena, don’t run away from me! Come back, angel!”

But I force my legs to keep moving. And I don’t look back.

* * *

I’m aboutto collapse when I get back to the house and grab my bag from under the bed. Hastily, I cram everything I brought with me inside and quickly tug the stubborn zipper while my hands shake like leaves in the wind.

My emergency cell is right where I left it. I may be a city girl with an overprotective father, but I’m not stupid enough to come all the way out here to the middle of nowhere without an escape plan.

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