Page 36 of Cool for the Summer

After twenty-five years of hearing I’m not what my parents hoped for, it’s a small miracle to have someone accept me for who I am, and who believes in what I’m capable of.

So yeah, my heart doesn’t listen to my head as I stare out the French doors and wish that he wasn’t my roommate. I wish he was just… mine.

A moment later, Donovan confiscates the tennis ball and rubs Cleo’s neck. When they start for the house, I shake myself and flip on the recessed lights in the kitchen.

“You’re back,” Donovan says with a wide smile.

“Yeah, sorry I’m late for dinner. I got caught up looking at properties with Noelle,” I say, yanking open the refrigerator door to remind myself his smile doesn’t mean anything except that he’s happy to see me. His roommate/friend.

I startle at a touch on my arm and close the fridge door to reveal Donovan standing close. “Hey, you don’t have to feed me every night,” he says. “And you don’t have to apologize. I had leftover pizza. But you should eat. Who knows if the food at Sparkle is any good?”

I stare at him, confounded by the words coming out of his mouth until I remember. Sparkle. The bar. That’s tonight. “Oh, right.” I glance at the wall clock. “Aren’t you meeting Kingston and Sergio there soon?”

“We’remeeting them at eight,” he says easily.

“Ohweare, are we?” I put the emphasis on the ‘we’ the way he did. As if we’re a package deal, even though I know he wants to go to Sparkle to hook up, and I can’t imagine he needs me along for the ride.

“Yeah. You have to come. It’ll be good for you to get out of the house,” he says.

“I was out of the house most of the day,” I protest.

“And I want to hear all about it. You can tell me on the way.”

“I’m a mess,” I say, lifting my shirt away from my chest and wrinkling my nose dramatically.

“So take a shower. Please? I’ll have more fun if you’re there.” He blinks slowly, his thick eyelashes sweeping down to almost touch the tops of his cheeks.

It would take a stronger man than me to deny those eyelashes.

“Fine. Heat me up a piece of pizza, will you?”

“Done.”

An hour later,I’m driving us toward Midville, the closest small city to Rosedale. It has a movie theater, a bowling alley, and, apparently, a gay bar. I’ve been telling Donovan about the retail space—how it’s already set up to take industrial ovens, and how Noelle’s face lit up when I mentioned the cookie shop idea. “Sugar cookies are her favorite, so I’m going to drop some off on Monday. She said the owners would look at a lower offer, so we’ll see.”

“You’re going to put in an offer?” Donovan sounds surprised, but not skeptical.

“I know it’s kind of rushed.” I bite my lip. I have so much to figure out, but something about this feels right. “I don’t want to lose this space—it’s perfect.”

I’m expecting Donovan to say something like, “When you’re ready, the right space will come along,” but he just says, “Cool.” His phone pings with a notification. He checks it and swears.

“Damn. Kingston and Sergio are bailing.” He types a short reply and glances sideways at me. “Looks like it’s just you and me tonight.”

“Right,” I respond tightly. I don’t have a good feeling about this. Donovan’s goal is to have sex tonight, and I think it’s going to kill me a little to see him be physical with someone else. I don’t have any claim to him, but that doesn’t mean I want to see him all over some random guy.

“What’s wrong?” Donovan, as ever, seems to read my mood.

“I’m just not good at bars,” I say, which is partly the truth.

“What do you mean?”

“I never know the etiquette. In college, we just drank in the dorms. And I always feel self-conscious in gay bars and clubs, like everyone has an agenda.”

“Well, our only agenda is to have fun,” Donovan says. “We’ll get something to drink, we’ll check the place out, and if it sucks, we’ll get out of there. Okay?”

“Sure.” I promised myself I’d be the best roommate ever, and that means being a good wingman if it comes to that. Donovan’s sweet to reassure me, but I know the score. He’s looking for something different tonight—someone different.

As I pull the GTI into the parking lot next to the stand-alone brick building with the neon sign, I wonder if maybe I should take inspiration from him tonight. My last boyfriend and I called it quits months ago, and while I don’t really mind not having constant sex, being around Donovan—being able to look but not touch—has had me feeling slightly turned on since we met. I’m not a complete stranger to hookup culture, I just don’t usually feel comfortable getting physical with someone I just met.

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