Page 80 of Mountains of Mist and Magic

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Triston was absolutely mortified. As soon as the apparitions vanished and Cressida landed with the dragons on the deck, he'd retreated below to the tiny cabin he shared with Julietta. He ducked his head down the hall, finding the door to the minuscule room. Once alone, he sat on the tiny bed and hung his head low. He couldn't believe how he'd nearly fallen apart in front of everyone, running after some apparition. Yet for a moment, it had seemed so real. He'd seen his parents, wearing the same clothes they had on when they disappeared from the ship. His father's beard was even the same length, and his mother's crown was slightly askew, just like on that fateful day.

A soft knock on the door, hesitant and quiet, interrupted his thoughts.

He didn't need to ask who it was. “Come in, Turtle Dove.”

Julietta entered their shared cabin, a tiny smile on her face. “Turtle Dove? I like that.” She quickly smoothed her skirt and sat down next to him on the bed. The cabin wasn't meant for couples, but rather sailors, so there were two single beds, a top bunk and a lower bunk. Julietta slept on the top, and Triston on the bottom. He missed sleeping with her; he longed not just for the physical act of love, but for the mornings when they would wake up entwined with each other. It seemed he no longer knew who he was without her.

“I'm sorry I ran off,” he said, attempting to straighten his hair. The whirlwind that Beauty and Brutus created had tangled it so much that it was unmanageable. He considered shearing it off as soon as he could find a mirror.

“Why would you apologize?” she asked, leaning against him.

“I'm a warrior. A king. I shouldn't ever fall to pieces.”

“It's okay, Triston. You don't have to be strong all the time.”

His voice trembled slightly as he spoke. “They were calling out to me, and for a moment, I thought they were really there. I tried to reach them...but then they vanished. Just like they did all those years ago.”

Julietta placed a hand on his arm, her touch gentle and reassuring. “That must have been so hard for you. I can't even imagine the pain.”

Clenching his fists, Triston's voice grew tense. “I should be used to this by now. I thought I had accepted their loss, but seeing them again...it just tore everything open. I feel like I'm failing. How can I lead us on this journey when I can't even control my own emotions?”

Soothingly, Julietta replied, “Triston, you're not failing. It's natural to grieve, to feel pain. Your emotions don't make you weak; they make you strong. They're a part of who you are, and those emotions you try to hide make you the man I fell in love with.”

Triston looked down, his voice barely above a whisper. “I've spent so long burying my feelings, pretending they don't exist. It's easier to be strong, to be emotionless. But now...now I don't know how to deal with this.”

Julietta gently lifted his chin, her eyes meeting his. “You don't have to deal with it alone. I'm here, Triston. We're in this together.”

“I don't want to drag you into my darkness,” he protested, his voice breaking. “You're too kind, too pure. I don't want to taint that.”

A soft smile graced her lips. “You could never taint me, Triston. Love isn't about shielding each other from the darkness; it's about facing it together, hand in hand. Your pain is my pain. Let me in. Let me be there for you.”

Tears welled in Triston's eyes, his final walls crumbling. “I'm so afraid, Julietta. Afraid of losing you, of failing our mission, of everything.”

Julietta held his hand tightly, her voice filled with conviction. “It's okay to be afraid. But you don't have to face your fears alone. We're stronger together. Always.”

For the first time in years, Triston allowed his tears to fall, his body shaking with the release of pent-up grief and fear. Julietta wrapped her arms around him, holding him close as he sobbed into her shoulder.

“Let it out, Triston,” she whispered sweetly. “I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.”

They stayed like that for a long time, the gentle rocking of the ship a quiet backdrop to Triston's catharsis. When he finally pulled back, he felt a sense of relief he hadn't known in years.

“Thank you, my love,” he said, his voice slightly hoarse. “I don't know what I'd do without you.”

“You'll never find out,” she replied, smiling warmly. “We'll face everything together, no matter what. Now, let's get some rest. We have a long journey ahead, and we'll need our strength. Just think, perhaps in the next few days our world will be restored.”

Triston nodded, a newfound sense of hope blooming within him, ready to confront the challenges that lay ahead.

By the time he and Julietta rejoined the others up on the deck, Cressida was free. The mist had completely cleared, and the sun shone down on them, making it easy for Triston to see Cressida's excitement at being unbound.

He wanted to say something to the group, to scold them or tell them how irresponsible it was, but he couldn't. Not after he nearly jumped overboard to get to a mirage, or the fact that he offered no solution to their mist problem. If truth be told, they might all be dead if it hadn't been for Cressida.

So he just ignored her, passing by the others and heading for the wheel, Julietta following. He nodded to Phillippe as he replaced him, and then he grabbed the wheel in his hands. It felt good to be in control of the ship again, and a relief to have his emotions under control.Having Julietta as a mate was a true blessing, he thought. She allowed him to be vulnerable, to remove his armor and ease his burdens. Which in turn, made him a better leader. He couldn't believe that he'd been so blind to the possibility of it before.

He looked down at the map, trying to gauge where they were. Unfortunately, they seemed to have drifted a bit off course during the mist, so he adjusted accordingly and then set them off on the path towards the mountains. If he squinted just right, he thought he might be able to see them, dark and menacing on the horizon.

“I think we're getting close,” he said to Julietta, gesturing towards the mountains.

---