Page 34 of Blurred Love

I want to believe him, I really do, but it’s all so fresh. I ask him again because I have to know. “Is she the reason that you don’t want kids?”

He tilts his head to the side. “I do want kids. I just didn’t think I should. After everything that happened with Carrie, I just never thought I would have kids. I just never thought it would be an option. I had mentally prepared myself for that fact.”

“And now?” I ask him.

“Since I met you, I’ve been picturing a little girl with brown hair and blue eyes calling me Dad.” He squeezes my hand. “You make me want things I never thought I could have, Poppy.”

I want to believe him. I would like to think that we could work through this and be together, but I still have to be sure. “I don’t want to be your second choice. If you still love your ex-wife?—”

He reaches for me, puts his arms around me, and then pulls me over to his lap. I can’t help but laugh. “What is it about you always wanting to hold me?”

He squeezes me like he never wants to let me go. “I want you close to me, always.” He lets out a breath slowly. “And I don’t love my ex. I haven’t loved her in a long time. You could never be my second choice.” He puts his hand on my chin and brings my face up so I have to look at him. “You’re my only choice, Poppy. I love you.”

I gasp, but he continues. “I know you said it was bad timing earlier, but for me, it’s never a bad time. I do love you, and I should have told you before today.”

I can’t resist him. This whole thing scares me, but I have to tell him how I feel. “I love you, too.” I suck in a breath. “I love you so much, Colter.”

He kisses me, and as soon as our lips meet, I get lost in his touch. When I pull away, I’m panting, but I’m not finished yet. I need some assurances from him. “Colter, from this point on, you can’t keep things from me. I get it, I understand why you didn’t tell me, but if we’re going to do this, we have to be honest with each other.”

The possessive man that I’ve become addicted to nods his head. “Well, we’re happening. I’m not letting you go, Poppy, and I promise that I won’t keep anything else from you.”

Unable to just give it up, I put a hand to his chest. “If you decide you don’t want to be with me, you tell me, Colter. If you decide you’d rather have her?—”

He puts his hands on each side of my neck and holds me steady. “That’s not going to happen. I promise, that’s not going to happen.”

I want to believe him, so I nod my head and lean into him, pressing my head to his chest. He sighs as if he’s had the weight of the world on his shoulders and he’s finally been relieved of the stress. His arms go around me, and even though he squeezes me tightly, I don’t complain.

He whispers against my hair, “You’re stuck with me baby, because I’m not letting you go.”

I lean into him and let his words soothe me. “I love you, Colter.”

He groans. “I love you too.” After kissing my head again, he says, “You’re coming home with me.”

I don’t want to deny him, but just thinking about it, I’m picturing Carrie in her towel, and I have to clench my eyes shut to get the image out of my head. “I don’t think…”

He leans back and looks in my eyes. “Honey, I need to go home because my computers are there, and I need you there with me.”

His face is filled with remorse, and I know he feels bad for what I had to deal with today. This is not payback or anything; this is me not wanting to deal with Carrie again. “Maybe you should go and deal with your ex-wife.”

He shakes his head. “No, I sent security a text message, and Carrie is off the premises by now and has been warned not to come back.”

Before I can ask him, he tries to reassure me. “But I still want you home with me. I want to sleep next to you.” I can feel myself caving, but he continues. “And I don’t just mean tonight, Poppy.”

I trust him, and if he says Carrie is gone, then I have to believe that. “I’ll pack enough for a few days.”

He strokes his hand up my arm. “Okay, but we’re going to talk soon about more than just spending the night with each other. I want something more permanent with you.”

I pat him on the chest. “Let’s get through today first.”

He nods. “Yeah, I get it. Today was a lot.”

Without looking him, I tell him everything I’m feeling. “I told you I love you, Colter, but what I didn’t tell you is that I’m always thinking about you. When I’m with you, I feel safe, I feel loved, and I don’t want this between us to end.”

“Oh, baby, it’s not going to. I want to be with you, and even though I’m scared about everything I want with you, I’m not backing down because I’ve been given just a glimpse of what our life can be like these past few weeks, and I’m not letting you walk away. I’m going to spend my life making you happy.”

I’m feeling overwhelmed because I’m loving everything I’m hearing from him, but at the same time, I’m scared to believe it. I push up from his lap. “I’m going to go throw some clothes in a bag.”

I can feel his eyes on me, and it’s not until I’m in my bedroom that I let out a breath. As I pull out a bag and start filling it, I’m hoping that I’m making the right decision.

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