Page 7 of Blurred Love

She texts a question mark, but no matter how much I’d love to hear her voice, I can't do it. Instead of trying to explain to her, I just ignore her request and her follow-up with the question mark.

I rub my hand along the scruff of my chin and not for the first time wish that things—that I—could be different.

When my phone dings again, I look at it hesitantly and see that there is an attached voice message that Poppy sent me.

I take a deep breath and listen to her soft Southern voice come through the phone.

She speaks slow. “Hi, Colter. I hoped we could talk, but I understand if you don’t want to. After everything I said to you today, I don’t blame you for not wanting to talk to me.” She takes a breath. “Anyway, I really am sorry. I uh, had a bad morning, and unfortunately, I took it out on you. What I did was wrong, and I feel really bad about it. If you want to talk—so I can apologize in person—please call me. Or if you want to stop by the next time I have the truck at the center, I’d be happy to buy you a piece of pie or a cupcake or whatever you would like to eat.” She pauses and then blows out a soft breath. “Anyway, I am sorry. I hope you call or I get to see you again, but if I don’t, I don’t blame you. Sorry… again. I’ll talk to you or not, whatever you decide. Bye.”

As soon as the recording stops, I play it again and listen to her talk.

Everything inside me wants to talk to her. I wish I could call and have a normal conversation, but I don’t trust myself to do it. And there’s no way I’m going to go and talk to her in person, not after today’s epic fail.

I start typing. “I’m sorry you had a bad morning, but I promise you don’t owe me an apology or a piece of pie. All is forgiven. I hope your day is better tomorrow.”

Before I can talk myself out of it, I hit send, turn the volume off on my phone, and then leave it on the bed as I walk through the house and to my office. I sit down behind the four computer screens and decide to focus on my work. Each of them are set to a black background, meant to help fend off migraines. I turn the brightness up a little bit. At least with my job, I know what I’m doing. It’s easy for me, and it’s the one thing I have left that I’m confident with.

It helps that what I do is important. I may not be able to go on missions anymore or work in the field, and I am behind a computer, but what I do still saves lives.

I try to focus on the work at hand, but only a few minutes pass by and I’m logging into my phone messages from my computer. I listen to Poppy’s voice message again and again.

Each time I get to the end of the message, I hit play again. Over and over, I listen to her sweet voice until I lean my head back, close my eyes, and picture her in my mind.

When her voice stops and is replaced by my phone ringing through the speakers of my computer, I open my eyes and look at the pop-up on my screen. Walker.

I sit up in my chair and open all my screens as I answer the call. “Walker.”

He gets straight into giving me my assignment, and I hit the record button to make sure I don’t miss anything. As soon as I hang up the phone, I get straight to work because I know that lives can be lost in minutes if I drop the ball.

It’s not until hours later when the assignment is done that I finally let my mind wander and think about Poppy, and I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing right now.

CHAPTER5

POPPY

It’s been a week since I sent Colter a voice message, pouring out my heart and apologizing. And I haven’t heard one word from him since.

I’m packing up the food truck, ready for another busy day, and all I can think about is if I’m going to see Colter today. I haven’t been able to get him off my mind, and it feels like I have butterflies in my stomach as I wonder if he’s going to show or not.

“What’s up with you?”

I keep working, unable to look April in the eye. “What do you mean? I’m packing the truck.”

As soon as I finish stacking the plates, plasticware, cups, and napkins, I look up. April has her arms crossed over her chest as she stares back at me. She knows something is up, and she’s not going to give in until I tell her what’s happening. April has worked at the bakery for a long time, and even though she only helps out part-time now, she still knows all the ins and outs of it all. “What?” I ask her, trying to put off the inevitable.

She laughs. “What’s going on?” When I don’t answer her right away, she shakes her head. “You may as well tell me because you know I’m going to find out anyway.”

I lean against the edge of the counter and cross my arms. “Okay, so last week, I had another run-in with Adam.”

She shakes her head. “Dammit. Do you want me to get Matt to talk to him?”

I roll my eyes. April’s husband is the center for the Jasper Eagles football team, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to spend his time dealing with my ex-boyfriend. “No, I don’t want that. I need to stand up to him on my own.”

She nods her head, but I should have known that April would see right through me. “What else? There’s more to it than that.”

“Well, after I let Adam ruin my morning, I turned around and ruined someone else’s afternoon. I said things I regret, and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Her forehead creases. “Did you apologize?”

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